I took the advice of a friend. I grabbed every email, text and offer of support from friends here in Doha and made a little Facebook group. I’d spent a couple of days running into people and repeating the same information again and again and it was bringing me down. Not the catching up with the friends bit, just the constant cancer chat. Where is it exactly? How did you find it? How long will the chemo last? What’s in the chemo? What does that mean? When do you go to see the doctor next? How are the kids coping? Is G okay? Where is it again? Can you see where they’ve cut it out? I can’t see, you don’t really look any different.
I started a group.
I added my Mum and a couple of girlfriends from home who I knew would want to know exactly what was going on. The kind of people who say “are you okay, maybe I should come over?” It felt weird to add them knowing that they couldn’t pop in with a casserole or pick the kids up from school, but it didn’t matter, they were there. Last night my girlfriend Penny wrote a note to the group, a suggestion of something that she could do from afar, someone everyone could get involved in.
“I’m suggesting that we all nominate a song for Kirsty to listen to while she’s sitting around.”
She suggested Sugar by Robin Schulz and Francesco Yates. The idea was to choose a song that meant either something to me or something to them or just a song they liked.
“I’m imagining listening to this after a long lunch at Star of Greece, dancing with a glass of wine…”
I loved it. I LOVED IT. I mean how more perfect can you get. As people started to share their suggestions I downloaded – I now have a playlist titled “chemo”.
I started to think of what my song would be. I was thinking of my new best cancer friend in Singapore who was counting down her next 5 treatments. “I’ll be done by Christmas”.
A couple of years ago my friend Darien sent me a song for my birthday. It seemed so apt at the time, my birthday is on New Years Eve and the song title is This Year. We had a few people at the house that night and it was played on high rotation.
I wrote about Darien a few months ago, he’s my friend who was diagnosed with liver cancer. It’s kind of funny to think that while I was driving Darien to his radiation appointment I was sitting next to him with a little cancer of my own. When I was diagnosed I rang him and told him I was sick of him getting all the attention. We now compare cancer care tales and talk multi-diciplanary teams. He’s jealous of my outcomes and I’m jealous he’s still got hair.
When I was thinking about what my song would be I realised it had to be This Year. It’s the chorus, it’s no longer about the New Year, it’s about making it through the old one. My chemo will be done by Christmas and while they’ll still be radiation to follow I feel like if I can just make it through the chemo with the new job, the kids and the illness, I’ll have made it. I can do it.
“I am going to make through this year if it kills me.”
*ignore the film clip but listen to the song*
Okay, I need to fill my playlist. What would your chemo song be? It doesn’t have to be uplifting or have meaning. What should I listen to? What would you listen to?
Florence and the Machine- Dog Days are Over. Because they will be and you can sing this at the top of your lungs when they are xxxx
I used to play that song at full tilt driving down the freeway in Houston – It’s going on the list!
Sleepwalking by The Raveonettes. Swedish ESL pop gets no better.
Phew, I nearly downloaded a whole load of Swedish ESL pop. Thanks! 🙂
Shut up and dance, by Walk the Moon. Because sometimes you just need to stop talking and stop thinking and just dance, dance, dance….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS-zK1S5Dws
Another one bites the dust (Queen)
My serious one would be “I Look to You” (Selah version or Whitney Houston version). But to lift my spirits, I’d listen to “You Never Even Call Me By My Name” by David Allen Coe…hilarious.
Kirsty I’m yet another well wisher from afar, who’s been following your blog for far longer than just the little bit of cancer blip. My song from the last year or so has been Prayer in C (Robin Schultz remix) by French band Lilly Wood and the Prick. (Surely the name of the group alone is enough to tempt you to have a listen….!) I love the idea of your chemo “mixed tape” and love Penny’s choice of Sugar (a song we played all around Poland/Germany on our summer road trip). I hope you like it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrlfFTS9kGU
This is a good ‘Kick cancer’s a$$’ kinda song!!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc
Play list, bah, try an awesome podcast I’ve heard about…Two Fat Expats!
Music wise, Avicii’s wake me up always makes me smile and tap my feet on the train after work
Green Garden by Laura Mvula /Pumpin Blood by nonono
This song always makes happy, because it’s just silly. Silliness is important. Dr Worm by They Might be Giants. “I’m not a real doctor, but I am a real worm.”
https://youtu.be/TkVHdUkMJdk
Lean on Me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf9_lkf7BtA
Green Day´s Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) would be on my list. Looks like you´ve got a great list going Kirsty. Sing your heart out. We´ll be singing with you.
OMG–great topic Kirsty. I made a “Mix Tape” for the first time, (ever?) about two weeks ago and put all my favorite songs in it. Then I realized most of my favorite songs are about sex. 🙂 But maybe most of the songs in the world are, anyway. But on my chemo tape I’d have to have Stevie Wonder’s Higher Ground–not because it talks about death but because it’s the funkiest song ever written.
Adding it now!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE that song xx
Yay!