Le "G" String

I have a friend whose father is a marriage counsellor. At a party last year we were talking about marriage and how a marriage changes over the years. I asked if his father had ever given him any advice, and he smiled.

“He says the same thing all the time. And he’s right, it’s so simple but it’s so true”.

I was on the edge of my seat.

“When guys come in and say they’ve fallen out of love with their wives, he tells them ‘you’re not loving her enough, go back and love her more’. It took me ages to understand it, until I’d been married for awhile myself.”

I know that sometimes a marriage is terminal, but I couldn’t agree more with the sentiment. Sometimes giving love, is the best way of receiving and falling back in love.

When people used to tell me that marriage required work, I would immediately shut them down. My idea of marriage was love and romance, if it was work, well then surely it was broken?

Fourteen years ago I married a 27 year old man. On the day, I would have told you that G could do anything. He was well travelled, smart, and confident in a crisis. Back then of course, our crises were the house getting broken into, or the car breaking down.

Today we call that, life.

Throughout our marriage G has loved to buy me beautiful underwear. It hasn’t needed to be a birthday or Christmas, G would happily make a beeline for the La Perla shop on the way home if he thought there was any chance of seeing me in a matching set of le lacy and le see through, at the end of the day.

In the beginning of our relationship I thought I’d struck gold, the idea of a constant supply of le lacy and le see through was le fantastique. As the years have gone by though, there have been a few le fat, le frumpy and le totally not interested moments that have caused a bit of tension. The mothers day where we had four children under the age of six and I was breastfeeding with a healthy display of post baby weight, was possibly not the best time to present me with a G string that resembled tooth floss.

“I’d look so gross in this right now! These g strings are really starting to get up my bum, and I mean that both literally and physically”, it was not the reaction G was hoping for.

We were coming from two different worlds. I couldn’t have felt more unsexy, and he was trying to tell me that he thought I was fabulous.

I had forgotten about all about this until over the summer, after a six week stretch of solo parenting, two pairs of beautiful, comfortable, pyjamas arrived in the mail. G had bought them online. I loved the pyjamas, but I loved G more for knowing how much I would love them. I knew he would really prefer to have a pyjama free household. I explained the entire situation in detail to the ladies in the post office when I opened the parcel “this is huge for us, these pajamas would usually come with a g-string” they nodded slowly, smiling at the crazy lady with the Country Road pyjamas in her hand.

The 27 year old man that I married had never held a baby, sat down for a pretend tea party with a three year old, or waited patiently in a hospital with a four year old with a bead stuck up her nose. The 27 year old that I married agreed to look after me, love me, cherish me, but I don’t think either of us had factored in how hard that might become once we’d added the entourage, the mortgage and the continued negotiation of balancing careers.

Today G will wake up in Qatar for a birthday without me. He will fill his day with driving someone to soccer camp, baking with ten year olds, entertaining a few extras for play dates and getting Halloween outfits ready for trick or treating. In my eyes he couldn’t get any sexier, somehow I managed to marry the most capable man I know.

My birthday present for G will have to wait until December, but until then, thank you G for continuing to love me more, you make it very easy to love you back.

  • http://stellaorbit.com/ Stella Orbit

    This is a beautiful testament to your wonderful husband and your great marriage.

    I shed a tear, but because of the commitment it shows. Work and work at it again. It’s the only way as you’ve so neatly expressed.

    Beautiful.

  • http://www.presentimperfection.wordpress.com/ caroline

    Ah, that is lovely. Happy Birthday, G x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02554185913419299026 hisqueen

    Wonderful…Just Wonderful!!! Happy Birthday G!!!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13439663139027095903 Mary

    Tears of happiness for your G – I know those kids are making sure he has a lovely day! Thank you for your lovely words, again x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05057437682636245835 What Sarah Did Next

    What a beautiful post. You guys are the luckiest people ever. Happy birthday, G!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08609190990579743429 Kath Lockett

    A truly lovely way of depicting your love for G and how a marriage works.

  • http://therhythmmethod.wordpress.com/ therhythmmethod

    Such a gorgeous post. I have lots of friends and peers (I’m gen Y) who don’t believe in marriage. To me it’s not a conservative act, it’s an absolute leap of faith based on romantic ideas that you somehow hammer into a workable/liveable shape as life moves on ahead. I once joked that having a family with someone is like running a small business … and it kinda is, only the currency is emotion and attachment.
    And now I really want new pyjamas …

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14794655013673748992 River

    He sounds like a real treasure. Definitely worth waiting and working for.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00747747919718890319 Ariana Mullins

    This was so sweet, so real. What an understanding partnership you have both built.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00773581188651200076 Coal Valley View

    Love this so much. To me, this is the essence of a great marriage. Happy Birthday to G 🙂

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11920864212300040383 Melissa Lawrence

    Awwww … what is more romantic than taking the time to know someone and thinking about their needs. He’s a keeper.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14057788922348763192 Delhibound

    Sigh. Well said, chicka.

  • Anonymous

    so lovely!
    Thanks!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08647596319711811125 cjtato

    What a beautiful post. They say don’t sweat the small stuff but sometimes it’s the small stuff that is the big stuff! 🙂

  • http://www.tinysavages.com/ Carli

    Loved this. Such simple advice about not loving your partner enough – I have a similar phrase about catching more bees with honey. Happy birthday to G.

  • carohutchison

    What a gorgeous post. Having a husband who gets you is so special. I’ve been married 6 years but can say with absolute conviction that I love my husband so much more than I did on our wedding day. We look out for and support each other and it gives us both strength that there is someone there who is willing to adapt and grow for them.