Sending Telstra a Telegraph (pole)

In a world of cancer treatment and discombobulated families it’s important to have a giggle. Today’s laugh out loud moment came courtesy of Andrew from Telstra.

We’ve purchased a block of land, the plan is to now build a home for our family of six. Before any of this can start there are jobs to be done: land clearing, building approvals, septic applications, and the matter of an old telegraph pole which is standing pretty much where we’d like our driveway to start. If telegraph pole is a term that means nothing to you let me share with you exhibit a)telegraph pole


That pole in the middle of the screen – that’s a telegraph pole.

Andrew from Telstra rang as I was getting back in my car after my fourth dose of radiation. He explained that he’d received the message from my husband about the telegraph pole and its need to be removed. I feel it’s important to note that Andrew seemed extremely keen, he let me know he’d “escalated” the issue and he was happy to report he knew exactly what needed to be done. These aren’t perhaps the exact words, but it went pretty much like this…

“Ms Rice – you need to send the telegraph pole back to us at Telstra”

I was a little confused. “I’m sorry?”

“You can post the telegraph pole back to us”

“You want me to post the telegraph pole in the mail?”


Andrew couldn’t understand why I was laughing.

“Andrew – where are you right now?”

“Where am I located?”


“I’m in Manilla”

“Andrew do you know what a telegraph pole is?”


“Andrew have you seen a telegraph pole”

Andrew decided he’d hop onto google maps and go to our address.

“Andrew can you see the pole – it’s taller than a house”

Andrew started to giggle.

I like Andrew.

“I’m sorry Ms Rice – you obviously won’t be able to put that in the mail will you?”

“Ms Rice can you hold on and I’ll make a time right now for someone to come and see you”

As I waited Andrew decided to get started on some small talk.

“Have you had a good day Ms Rice”

“Hmmmm” the hospital visit was still fresh in my mind.

“You sound hesitant Ms Rice”

“I’ve just walked out of radiation Andrew”

“Ohhhh, Ms Rice would you mind if I used your complete name and prayed for you tonight at church”

“That would be lovely Andrew – every little bit helps”

“Yes Ms Rice and I have an uncle who is a pastor and I will give him your full name and he will pray for you too.”

“Thanks Andrew, it’s always good to be on a prayer list” I wondered if David Bowie had been on anyones prayer list and then caught my cynical brain being snapped back into gear by the sweetness of Andrew’s voice.

He said something about good health or was he wishing me a fast recovery? I can’t remember exactly. I was too busy envisaging me in the post office line with a massive big telegraph pole asking where to put the stamp.

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  1. Priceless! I love that you have just made me Laugh. I have been having a shitty day and this is just what I needed. Thank you! I will add you to my Pray list tonight as well. 😀

  2. He ain’t heavy, he’s my telegraph pole 😉 Giggled all the way through this post. Wishing you all the very best x

  3. Sitting here chuckling away at the thought of you with a telegraph pole trying to get in the door of your local post office.

  4. That’s gorgeous.

    Clever Andrew for going ‘off script’

  5. too funny! Love it – do let us know what you end up doing with your pole.

  6. MsCaroline says

    Love you for not getting cross or impatient with him and ending the conversation on a beautiful note. xo

  7. Hilarious. Thinking of you , loved that Andrew offered to pray.

  8. Great story!

  9. That was very funny and also very sweet! I can just see you trying to mail a telephone pole. Hugs from Spain.

  10. Brilliant! Glad you didn’t have to lug the telegraph pole to the post office afterall.. 🙂

  11. I’m curious what he thought the telegraph pole was! Prayers from Bahrain!

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