Hello,
My name’s Kirsty and I’m an overprivileged princess with first world problems. When I’m not sitting around gazing at the wonder of the sky and the fact that I fart rainbows, I choose to write. I do this not because I’m trying to make a living but because I have too much time on my hands. I am a spoilt rich bitch and an over-sharer – I know this because someone wrote an anonymous comment on a post once to let me know. Recently someone called “disappointed” left a charming but all too brief blog comment that my husband and I are part-time parents with too much money. Someone else told me (anonymously) that they couldn’t believe I’d been selfish enough to leave my children (with their father) while I had a ‘holiday’ in Australia (I had surgery which involved me accessorising with two catheters for seven weeks).
One of the joys of having your blog shared on a news site is that everyone gets to have a say, like yesterday when my post was shared on Doha News. I’ve been on Doha News before, so I was prepared for the onslaught. When you leave the safety of your own digital space you should be open to the fact that not everyone is going to agree with you, or like you, or in this case feel that you have a right to have an opinion. It took about three minutes for the first person to jump in – and then as the trail of this piece is terrible, this is useless, not this crap again comments rolled by, this one came. Naturally it was anonymous. They’re always anonymous.
“One of the big problems in places like the Middle East is the recognised condition of “Bored Expat Wives Syndrome”. It was usually cured by vast quantities of G&Ts while complaining about the hired help. However with the advent of blogging there is a new avenue for us to be enthralled with their new found freedom to express. They all seem to think they are “journalists” now….”
You all know how much I love the term expat wife. Well I love it even more when it has a bored in front of it. My little anonymous friend appears to have a problem with women expressing their opinions. I have to agree with him, I mean, who do we think we are? How dare we write, build a community and share ideas. Next we’ll be expecting to vote, hold positions of power, and maybe even, I don’t know, run a country?!
This writing online could get really out of hand.
My name is Kirsty, I am about to launch a kick arse expat newsletter which will help expats save thousands of dollars while living a fat expat life (you can subscribe in the popup on this page when you’re on your way out) . I look after four delightful (they fart rainbows as well) but ridiculously busy children. Oh, and I have a podcast, we talk about trivial expat women’s issues that we should probably just shut up about. None of this matters because I could spend my days eating Nutella from my navel and still be entitled to an opinion – bored, expat, or not.
I’ll be back tomorrow – I hope you will be too. xx
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Just put down my bubbly and caviar to keep from spilling. Oh, wait…no. That was cold coffee and a peanut butter sandwich after two hours of homework with two kids because dear hubby is traveling all week. Keep at it, Kirsty! Not everyone gets it…and they don’t have to!
I think I went for about 10 years where I didn’t complete a coffee without it making a trip to microwave to reheat.
Ah ah ah love it robin…my coffee was cold too this morning after washing my kitchen of all the sand due to the windy weather in doha 😉 and try to find a game for my 2 kids in school holidays
I hear you Kirsty. I get racist thrown into the mix as well, not because I write disparagingly about Africa, but because I happen to be a white person living in Africa. Uuugghhh. Keep doing all that you do because it has stopped me in the past
You write beautifully, don’t you dare stop.
Thanks Kirsty! Just the encouragement i need. C
Love your work! Particularly those farted rainbows..
Hahaha, thank you xx
Yeah! Let’s hear these women’s voices, bored, expat or otherwise!
those farted rainbows have brightened MANY of my days. The posters who become so brave and pointed with their “mask” of anonymity make me want to throw something at them. Kirsty keep what you do so well.
You gotta love a load of Key board warriors! I think your blog is awesome – i am not an expat wife as such – we moved to be with husbands family – but the challenges are similar, the difference is this is forever and not a 3 year contract! Please keep the posts coming Kirsty!
As a fellow rainbow-farter, I love your writing. Hope to see you at the tournament this weekend, where we will talk about how bored we are (not)! 🙂
Haha! Yes, see you there xx
We need a bored expat wife support group. Hi, Im Linda, Im a bored expat wife and in my spare time I like to smell my own farts! Nice to meet you! 🙂
Love your writing, give us lots more GnTs and farting rainbows please 🙂
I’m pretty sure no amount of G&T could cure bored expat wife syndrome but hey – happy to give it a go. Thanks for 1) the diagnosis and 2) the suggestion Mr Anonymous. 🙂
LOVE THIS!!! What an absolute cock head he is!!!! I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that so many people can take the time to write such negative crap about other people they do not know.
If this anonymous person is the same one who commented above, he has PLENTY of time. I see his comments on pretty much every Doha News article. Almost always negative of course. Clearly he has nothing better to do than ridicule others… oh and I bet he has a stick up his ass too. Some people just don’t have a life.
Kirsty… keep plugging away at your keyboard…. its pretty simple really…. if they don’t like your blog… they shouldn’t read it!! Its not rocket science 🙂 Personally I love it!
lol. I gotta say this is great, write something in a satrical way, create fake name for a disease, throw in a stereotype about G&Ts and hired help and the righteous indignation is a joy to behold.
I would have thought someone whose first language is English and judging by the terms used from the UK would have noticed that, but hey what is better than setting up an attack on a ‘man’ because that is obviously what is wrong with society today. Queue, followers to jump in and stick the boot in as well.
It’s also ironic that because I am anomoymouse people feel free to jump on the bandwagon and insult me. Don’t mind being called a cock, been called much worse things… I just hope your kids don’t see you using such language….
You think too highly of yourself and your opinion. No one cares about your useless thoughts. I recommend you go back to commenting on every Doha News article where people of your like seem to exist and pat each other on the back.
I thought everyone was free to have an opinion and you are also free to disagree with it. You seem a bit agressive.
Don’t worry I won’t hang around here but I thought at this lady,(am I allowed to say that?) quoted me I was entitled to a right of reply.
Australian. She’s Australian.
I’m sorry to hear that.
So hang on …. you are now feeling indignant that she wrote back to you in a similar manner to the way you wrote!! Double standards much? And….yes, you do sound like a complete cock. Or “arsewipe” as we would call you in Australia…..
Have you taken that long to come up with a clever reply? I’d lay off the G&Ts if I was you….
Yep, I get the same – and I see it as judgement masquerading as jealousy. I choose to write and live life and write about living life, and I love it! Good for you! x
I have found that the best way to deal with this type is to ignore him/her completely. They long for a fight so response makes their day. Pathetic really.
I know, and I should have. I’ve been blogging for 5 years and never bite back and it wasn’t that he got the better of me I just thought it was so obviously misogynistic. But you’re right – it’s better to ignore than feed the troll.
What I don’t get is why it is assumed that the ex-pat women are just ‘wives’. I’m fairly sure I earn a pay check (actually a wee bit more than hubby but don’t get him started on that), as well as being a mum…..and a wife…..and I’m absolutely with you Kirsty – vodka is my turn to drink at the end of a long day!!! Best sipped with your blog in front of me so I get a good laugh at the same time. xxx
I know Sharon, it drives me nuts. And why are they expat wives and not expat women? Why aren’t we all just simply expats?
It is true that it we all have a spoiled life. Some of us even have chauffeur we complain about, not to mention the live-in house staff. How dare we complain when we are so spoiled?
Rotten of not working because we just can’t as few countries will allow the trailing spouse to use these diplomas we sweated to get, of raising alone most of the time children because our husbands are expected to work 80 hours a week, of dealing with staff because the houses we chose to live in are simply enormous and the next available option is a slum, of not being able to walk in our undies in our own home because of the said house staff, of spending a fortune in bottled distilled water just to cook rice because you rather not try your luck (and save your kids’ health), of wishing to sing out loud in the car but we can’t because we’re not alone …
Yes. Indeed we are spoiled and rotten, with too much time in our hands fighting traffic, delays, language barriers and polluted environments. Some anonymous should walk a mile or two in our flip flops and I will hand them a G&T at the end of the day so we can chitchat about their day.
Who do you think you are? A FABULOUS WRITER AND ENTREPRENEUR! Keep doing the fabulous JOB!!! A model for me!
Really! What an arse. This is the person who’ll completely blank you at a party if you are “just” at home with your kids or will tell you what a bad mother you are if you dare to have a corporate career. The comment says more about him/her than it does about you and what you do. Keep it up the good work and keep calling the trolls out for what they are!
Really! What an arse. This is the person who’ll completely blank you at a party if you are “just” at home with your kids or will tell you what a bad mother you are if you dare to have a corporate career. The comment says more about him/her than it does about you and what you do. Keep up the good work and keep calling the trolls out for who and what they are!
I read your blog every day and have never commented – but this drove me to make myself known. I’m a single woman, with no children, living in New Hampshire in the USA. I love your writing, Kirsty, love reading about your children’s activities and how you juggle everything. I travel a lot, and am fascinated by your life in Doha and how expat families come together and live in varied situations. My life couldn’t be more different from yours, and yet reading your blog is one of the highlights of my morning. Keep it up!
Amanda your comment has really made my day, thank you so much for taking the time to write. xx
I think it’s important not to bite back at these idiots, because it sounds like you’re bing defensive. If you can acknowledge some of those awesome luxuries we enjoy (enough money, driver, maid, cheap massages, people who make a fuss of you) it puts some balance into the discussion & they’re more likely to be able to hear what you have to say about the terrible isolation from your family, lack of medical care, lack of sanitation, the traffic, the pollution … Having a maid around hasn’t stopped me from bursting into tears today, on my daughter’s 19th birthday, because she’s 2 continents away.
Debbie, I agree that balance is important, but plenty of us expats don’t have those luxuries either. No driver, maid, or massages here. Only endless culture shock and even more endless adventure. We love it.
lol…love your writing as always. I’m currently on my 3rd leg of my flight “home” to see my dad who is ill. I must be a selfish expat wife for not staying home with my apron on and serving my husband dinner off a silver tray! Instead, I’m being to good daughter and rushing home to see my family….no matter how many flights it takes. Maybe my rainbows will follow me home. 🙂
Well said. Love it.
Keep those rainbows coming! Yes, I get annoyed at time with people who have too much time on their hands and opinions they just have to share with the world. And I dearly love the people who jump into the expat world with both feet and smile even when they’re buried up to their necks in sand from the latest storm. As far as I’m concerned, your job is to make me smile when I read your blog, so don’t you stop!
Hooray for Kristy! Thank you for writing about the good and “not so good” people around the world. Thank you for sending your blog right into my email so I never miss a post. Keep up the good work! We have to stick together and help each other every day.
Kirsty, I think you just have a bunch of wannabes reading. J-E-A-L-O-U-S! Unfortunately, they don’t know the 1/2 of it. We do, so keep at it! We love you in Shanghai!
Brilliant …. I just love it !!
And you’re fab and these sad commenters know nothing! Keep going gal… what you say is so relevant to so many who are starting the experience as well as those living it long term. You are fantastic resource to so many and an inspiration to the rest 😉
I like what you’re smoking. Can you tell where did you get the merchandise from?
What I can NEVER get over is, if you don’t like it don’t read it. I just don’t understand why people even read, let alone keep reading if they don’t like/agree what is on a blog. GO AWAY!!!! So childish.
OH BY THE WAY I LOVE IT AND READ IT EVERY DAY 🙂
So you insist with boring us to death. Was not enough that you were published on DN, now you started spreading your blog links all over Qatar FB Group. Pathetic? Yes.
Keep those opinions coming, Kirsty. As you know, you’re doing something right when lots of people love you – and some don’t. Who wants to go through life pleasing absolutely everyone? You encourage everyone to do their best with whatever their situation is, you don’t put down other people’s choices, you simply share from the heart what is going on for you, knowing that it will resonate with, encourage, and inspire many women (men too) around the world. Love it.
We’ll be back tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after. Please keep writing – you are our voice.
There is always someone somewhere wanting to be negative, bitter and twisted. Well I say, they are boring and need to stop hating the world so much. Why is it that such a small group can have so much power! *Sign*. I love your blog and yes, I will be here tomorrow as well.
It takes one to know one … keep ploughing ahead Kirsty … you are doing a great job putting the Expat experience into words and making us giggle and cry at the same time!
Since when have you had the luxury of enough free time to be bored? Oh wait. Am I talking about myself?
I love it…. well done and keep them coming please.
Jacqueline in Abu Dhabi
Your “bored expat life” is my dream life. If I wasn’t working full time, I would like to do what you do – raise kids, build a group/community, write/tackle issues, organize events and fart rainbows. That’s probably after I complain about our imaginary housekeeper and driver.
What a great read over my cup of cold tea, brilliant, 🙂
I am speaking as an ex-expat. What people who have never lived the expat life do not know is, there is often more frustration and challenge living in a foreign country that the perks they see us embracing (desperately clinging). But to be happy in your foreign environment, you just make the best and find the fun part. That’s what makes you successful. The hards are hard and the greats are great. Too bad you can only be a braggart or a whiner.
BTW, expat spouses are often dynamic, amazing people who make their community better for having been there, Thank you and congratulations for instigating this fantastic platform for expression and communication.
A few years ago i started a blog called “las inmortales” because someone told me that in her husband’s company they called the expat wives “the inmortals”, the ones that cannot pass to a better life. I was so angry when I heard that, that i start writing, furiously. After a year more or less I stopped. I just thought: “F..ck them”.
And you are AWESOME! I do wonder if a lot of the vitriol thrown at bloggers is that it has given women a platform and a community and then there’s the whole fact we use twitter to empower and communicate and how very dare we!
I’ve always wanted to fart rainbows.
Maybe Kirsty can start a class to teach us all to fart rainbows. It will give us bored expat wives something to do so that we don’t get under the skin of some people.
Farting rainbows would be so fab ! I wish I’d that skill .
Hi Kirsty, I think it’s really great that you write to fulfill your needs. I can’t really speak for the people who are rude about others, those people exist in every group, whether it’s among gender groups or racial groups or whatever the category happens to be. I think it’s normal that there are people out there like that and they are probably also bored but less able to express themselves.
I run a website for yahtzee called http://www.freethedice.com, where many of the people who play there are in a similar situation to yourself and they form friendships on the site and get to play games together regularly and share stories etc. If ever you run out of things to write about, why not come over and play a game and see if you meet some more cool people that might inspire you further.
Have a good day!
I know that I should shut up right now as I am tired and in pain but I just cant…. I am a loud mouth expat with opinions.
I love these people who feel the need to read or listen to a article and judge expats but have never done it themselves…. expat life is hard and there are dynamics to it that they have never had to consider. If you asked them to give up everything they know and move across the world and make it home within 3 months for the sake of their children they would probably say no, why because they have the family support when one child gets sick or you stuck in a meeting and cant make a school pickup… They have never had to network fast so that there is always a team of moms like us who will grab our children for us in a emergency. Since our husbands as expat employees generally have very little time off OR probably not even in this country with us, even though we moved to be a family. This team has to be networked and vetted with in days by us. We are a great judge of character because we have to be. These people that have no balls to put their name on a comment…. have never had to weigh up where to have a surgical procedure, where is the best doctor and the cleanest hospital, where will have you have enough support to recover but you cant just take children out of school. They never walk around with pain waiting for a school holiday to get something taking care of. These people have maybe moved house 2/3 times in their lives and it was so close they could drive a few bits over here and there and clean before they move it. They have never had to spend 8 weeks telling their children that their favourite book/toy is on a boat on the sea for the another x amount of time. The Logistics of moving a family to another country with paperwork is a full time job in itself.
Please keep posting your life for us, it makes us feel better to see we are not alone .
I get judged because I have not hired a help. Me the rich bitch is cleaning the house herself and OMG I iron too.
Oh man, because of your blog I had to drag myself from the pool, while spilling my white wine all over the place! Thanks for that! I was just working on my Tan! Not for myself but just to make sure that my friends back home get confirmation of how my life really looks like! I mean I party all day and work on my Tan. And that’s damn hard work I’m telling you! My 8yo and 2yo raise themselves you know! My 8yo can drive the car himself to school, Soccer, tennis, Hockey etc. And my 2yo has so much time on her hands, she walks to school all by herself!
Just kidding but honestly this all I wrote above was said to me one day when I was back home. It was absolutely hilarious, and because my Husband and I really enjoyed that story on how my life looked like we couldn’t help ourselves by making it more ridiculous on the spot. It’s still our inside joke! And my mom who was there as well and an ex-expat herself walked away cause she literally peed her pants.
I love your blog! Keep it going!!!!
Wow! Me too! Bored expat wife here! I used to be a professional until I came to this country to be dumped by my employer. I tell everybody I am a princess and I have a “non-profit”. LOL