I pretty much hate everyone’s guts right now.
I think I did a reasonably good job of disguising this fact for most of the weekend, well, apart from a small but public confrontation I had at baseball – don’t ask, it makes me shudder every time I think about it. Awful.
I know why I hate everyone’s guts. It’s happened before and it will happen again. The end of a holiday, the return to the mundane, the tightening of finances, and the practicalities of the shopping list and the meal plan. The deadlines, technology problems and work calls that need to be made. It’s all a part of every day life. It’s not even a hard life. It’s an easy life. Which is probably why it makes it even more depressing. I’m pathetic to be this miserable.
It was my mother in law, an expat in the 70’s who told me about locking herself away for a couple of days after arriving back to her expat destination. “Sometimes you just need a couple of days…”
Last year I wrote a post with tips. I did them all, got myself back into the groove, remembered how lucky I was. See? Simple. What re-entry blues?
This year I looked in the mirror
“Get on with it” I said
“Go f*ck yourself” I replied
It was my friend Fiona who first mentioned her geographical schizophrenia. I’ve listened and watched for almost twenty years as she’s gone between Scotland and Australia, pining for one while living in the other. Currently the grass is so much greener on the moor, if she was in Scotland she’d be working more, doing more, closer to, it would all just be different. Her husband shakes his head, baffled by her inability to just choose a final destination.
I remind myself of the obvious attractions. My children are really happy here in Qatar, they love their sports, their school, their friends. G is happy at work, the scope and size of what he does here is impossible to replicate in Australia. And me, what do I love about being here? At this very point in time I appear to have forgotten. I will remember, possibly today after I exercise and finish some work. Maybe after I send out some invoices, and grab a coffee with a friend.
I will remember, but in the meantime, I hate everyone’s guts.
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Embrace the hate! Push work to one side and go watch some Audrey Hepburn films, my go-to star when life’s a bit too mundane.
Emma, I think you might be right. I’ve been to kickboxing which was a definite help, I’m going to do two work things and then I think there might be coffee, cake and a reload of the brain.
A tough one. I’ve been back living in Oz for two years now. All we want to do is move back to Abu Dhabi.
And I know I will be EXACTLY the same when it happens. Geographical Schizophrenia.
You are my hero! Real baby, just real!
Where are you based now Ms Sarah???
Oh Kirsty.
Your timing is impeccable. My bottom lip is trembling and I’m very close to chucking a tantrum. We just stepped out into Australian soil after 23 hours of flying. Since we left Australia 3 weeks ago we have been on 5 flights, a ferry across the Irish Sea, 3 different rental cars and slept on 8 different floors/spare beds/sofas. It’s been a whirlwind of visiting relatives, showing our kids our roots and now returning to the place we have chosen as our home. A place I am so grateful to live. But just now I need a little reminding as the jetlag plays havoc with my emotions.
Home is what we make it but I might need to try hard over the coming days to find the positives and not just the mundane!
Big hugs to you Gina, big big hugs. xx
So once again you are completely on the money – I hate everyone’s guts at the moment too, and I haven’t even had to deal with the withdrawals that come from a summer at home! Hope you find your groove soon x
Same to you Clelia – sadly, it’s kinda nice to think we’re hating everyone guts in solidarity. 😉
I think I’ve figured out what it is. For me, anyway. When we were moved back to the States, my home city even, for two years, I pined for the expat life and was delighted to be transferred again. But I love the time we spend there during the holidays. I think I just want to be back there and on holiday! Living there just isn’t the same.
P.S. I am just noticing your favicon is a G. Brilliant tribute!
Exactly. When I’m home for the big break mid year I’m always far more logical about it, after a big break from school and an extended time with family it’s nice to be back in a routine. But this last break was too good and too fast, I wanted more MORE MORE!!! Oh dear. Now, tell me, what’s a favicon??
It’s the little icon thingy next to your blog post title at the top of the tab. (Mine is my tomato heart logo.) But I’ve realized that other folks have the G as well so maybe it’s something to do with your WordPress theme. But you can tell G it’s for him. 🙂
I hope you don’t hate everyone’s guts’ soon xx
Exercise and a coffee with a girlfriend made things so much better. I’ll be back to normal next week. xx
So get that! It’s like “what about me? It isn’t fair” kids got school G got work & you got… OK. Yep! Go girl, punch a few more things & see a friend or 2 & the. Those guts have been dealt with. D x
The punching was beautiful, I asked if I could come back every day 🙂
The kids want to know why I’m laughing. “Go f*ck yourself” is why children. Ok?
We need to have coffee soon. xx
I don’t know when it stopped, by after 4 years of serial expat life I just feel relieved when we land on ‘home’ soil after a trip back to the motherland. I miss home like crazy and hope to go back to the UK one day, but because it isn’t really home at the moment I find the whole thing rather stressful. That said, we stopped off in Qatar (‘home’ in 2012) on the way back to Tanzania and I felt terrible pangs of homesickness for Doha.
I always feel relieved to be home after the big long break, but this break didn’t feel long enough. Just typing that sentence makes me realize what a spoilt brat I am.
Torn between two lives and two countries. There is never enough time when you go ‘home’ and you love your new life but sometimes you need a big fat reminder! Becoming an ‘expat’ changed our lives forever! Mostly in a good way. Hope next week comes round quickly for you 🙂 x
You’re right Ruth, it does change your life forever. xx
Loving your blog Kirsty! Linked to by an expat in Saudi Arabia (if you don’t mind!): http://feimsterfever.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-expat-wife-life-saudi-blues.html
Let me know if you want me to change your accreditation or anything. It was just too good now to share, and exactly on point with my day today!
Thanks neighbour! xx
So what if you are cranky for a while? You will get over it and so will everyone else. Wear those cranky pants proudly and then get on with it….
Thank you! Cranky pants are just getting looser now, should be gone by the weekend I reckon 🙂
Christmas in UK by candlelight (no power for 3 days) was very romantic for 2 hours but novelty wore off, but do find myself pining for it even as I revel in the Sydney sunshine. I think it’s the people and when you are back for a serious amount of time eg over a week you get back into the groove of just popping in and out of friend’s and family’s lives eg bumping into my cousin in Topshop, and it’s hard when you’ve started ‘rooting’ again (what a dodgy way of putting it) to pull up all those tendrils and come back to real life. Am back to earth with a bump as go back to work today.
Sometimes reality just sucks doesn’t it? xx
Oh I hear you. Been there. Got the t-shirt. Go and grab that space hun. You’ll be ok. xx
Nothing wrong with needing time to reacclimate between cultures, Kirsty, or letting off a little steam. What I love is your willingness to tell it like it is, not sugarcoating everything or pretending expatriate life is always peaches and cream, rainbows and unicorns. It’s not helpful to moan 24/7 and bide your time until you can leave OR pretend everything is always sweetness and light. It is what it is: sometimes life is a b!+@h and needs to be called out. I for one am glad you’ve shared this as it is helpful and enlightening to many.