It had been percolating, bubbling away in the back of my mind. I knew something wasn’t right about what I’d written, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was a mild sense of unease. Most of my writing disappears from my mind within days (sometimes hours) of pushing the publish button, but this one stayed with me. This one wasn’t going away.
I’d initially read a piece on a website and responded. I’d read it on my phone while walking through a mall. The way it was presented on my screen meant that it wasn’t obvious who the author was – it was one of those generic expat websites. What I did know was that I disagreed with the article. I put something together when I got back to my desk, a response, I then found the link, and pushed publish. Done.
The reaction was instant. Others felt the same way. The piece was shared, commented on, and made the usual rounds – but then something didn’t feel right. The website in question wrote a comment on their Facebook page, I can’t remember the exact words but it was something like “I hope you realize I didn’t write it.”
It was only then that I thought about the author. I wondered how they felt being distanced from the very site who’d hosted their article. I’d disagreed with him/her on my own, but now we were a pack. A group, and some of us were angry.
I spoke to a friend about it, told him I was feeling uneasy. Was I an online bully?
“No way! When you write something on the internet you’ve put it out there for people to disagree with. You should expect it. You had your opinion, they had theirs. That’s how it works. Don’t over-think it.”
And then came the Jon Ronson moment. The very last sentence of his talk at Blogfest stayed with me all day. I took it to bed that evening, sat with it in a cab to the train station, and carried it home with me to Qatar. It’s not that black and white. The thoughts that percolate never are.
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I feel obliged to comment as the owner of the “generic expat website” you once again mention.
The original post you refer to – http://expatchild.com/traveling-expat-father-ideas-mum/ – was kindly offered to me in a time of great need whilst I was busy moving 6000 miles across the world. I admire and respect the author who has contributed elsewhere on my site. I was happy to run the piece as I have varied readers who may have found it useful in some respects. Diversity of beliefs is to be welcomed.
It wasn’t until I shared a link to the article on my Facebook page that some people took exception to the ideas raised. Nobody made those comments on the actual article. Instead, I felt they were directed at me personally on my Facebook page and later, much more vociferously, on your responding blog post.
It’s a shame people weren’t brave enough to comment and share their views on the original article on my site, then perhaps the author could have had her say in the matter.
Thanks for the reply Carole. I searched and searched today for the exact words on Facebook but I couldn’t find the original thread, is it still there? I think to be fair, from memory there were a few comments on your Facebook page regarding the piece. I know I definitely commented saying the piece “irked” me. I still feel the same way about it. What I would do differently next time is contact the writer and let him/her know that I was writing about it. This whole experience and how it has made me feel has made me realize that I really prefer to just write stories rather than opinions on other people’s work. Lesson learned.
Regarding people being brave, I think often when people post a comment on Facebook they don’t come back and do it on the page as well. And then there’s the really polite people who just read it, disagree and move on. 🙂
I feel obliged to comment as the owner of the “generic expat website” you once again mention.
The original post you refer to – http://expatchild.com/traveling-expat-father-ideas-mum/ – was kindly offered to me in a time of great need whilst I was busy moving 6000 miles across the world. I admire and respect the author who has contributed elsewhere on my site. I was happy to run the piece as I have varied readers who may have found it useful in some respects. Diversity of beliefs is to be welcomed.
It wasn’t until I shared a link to the article on my Facebook page that some people took exception to the ideas raised. Nobody made those comments on the actual article. Instead, I felt they were directed at me personally on my Facebook page and later, much more vociferously, on your responding blog post.
It’s a shame people weren’t brave enough to comment and share their views on the original article on my site, then perhaps the author could have had her say in the matter.
Thanks for the reply Carole. I searched and searched today for the exact words on Facebook but I couldn’t find the original thread, is it still there? I think to be fair, from memory there were a few comments on your Facebook page regarding the piece. I know I definitely commented saying the piece “irked” me. I still feel the same way about it. What I would do differently next time is contact the writer and let him/her know that I was writing about it. This whole experience and how it has made me feel has made me realize that I really prefer to just write stories rather than opinions on other people’s work. Lesson learned.
Regarding people being brave, I think often when people post a comment on Facebook they don’t come back and do it on the page as well. And then there’s the really polite people who just read it, disagree and move on. 🙂
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