Aircraft seat configurations have become ridiculously important to the little travellers over the years. They talk about it a lot. And when I say talk, I mean fight. I broke up a scrum twice yesterday, the first one was at gate 24 in the Qantas departure lounge, the second was actually on the plane in the middle of the aisle. I was the woman shout whispering “Sit. Down. Just. Sit. Down” and when that didn’t work I ran with the one long deranged sentence ending with a mother death stare “Isaidsitdowndoitnow DO IT NOW!”
In our early years of travelling with children it was all about the basinet and the bulk head. We discussed stroller collection and bottle warming requirements, and rated airlines by their ability to do both. I was sure that once my children were capable of making their own decisions about the chicken or the beef, our aeroplane dramas would come to a blissful end.
I was wrong.
It invariably begins on the way to the airport. “What will the seats look like on this plane?” is regular question, and they don’t mean the fabric. They want to know if it’s three and three, or two and two or if we’re all going to be in one long row. Discussions immediately turn to who will be next to who. Girls and girls? Youngest and oldest? Or the age old favourite “I’m sitting next to Mum”.
And if you’ve ever heard the expression of something being neither your arm nor your elbow, the middle seat appears to fit firmly in this category. It’s not your aisle nor your window. And no-one wants to be the middle child.
Where a window can provide a nice negotiation tool, the aisle appears to be as appealing as an address on the upper east side, however the middle appears to be about as attractive as a bedsit in Kabul and me its war torn foreign correspondent.
The only thing less appealing is sitting next to a stranger, which the fourth little traveller is using as wonderful negotiating tool – this is why he’s now enjoying his two hours of uninterrupted ipad time.
Nicely done my little man. You’ll go far.
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hahahaha – I love it! I just have the two little travellers, which cuts the crap in half in some respects. Being 4 and 6 we’ve only just been introduced to the window seat – and the prime position for them has been next to Dad. I laughed out loud at the Upper East Side and Kabul comparison – you have a way with words!! Our next flight is a domestic, two and two layout and they will still fight about who sits where I just know it!!
Happy travels! Nice negotiating, littlest traveller!
Brilliant! I am sorry but I am laughing at this… And crying a little too, thinking of what is to come. We have a 4 and a 3 year old and twice a year we make the 9 hour flight from the US to the UK and back (one being an overnight flight). We have done the ‘baby on your lap who can’t move phase’ and moved through the ‘crawling down the aisles and getting told off by air stewardesses’ to the ‘just will not sit still as they want to sit with Mummy and Daddy’ phase. We are going to attempt a flight to Sydney next year… 24 hours in an airplane with a 4 and a 5 year old…. I feel so sorry for the other passengers but relief that we managed to score business class seats! Yes I have a fantastic life here in sunny Michigan but those long haul flights to spend just a couple of weeks with friends and family is hard work!! Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful trip and a safe flight ‘home’ x x
I possibly had a more stressful experience a couple of days ago. My husband & I got the middle two of four central seats with a stranger on each side of us. My stranger had a cold and sniffed & throat cleared for 12 hours 50 minutes.
Small price to pay for my lovely holiday I suppose.
Cheers.