This is G

We don’t yell, but we did yesterday.

We’ve been waiting for a letter from the surgeon.

I sent them an email, I tried to sound easy to get along with, undemanding.

“Just wondering…”

At the the end of the day there’s a familiar sound of keys being dropped on a side table, while a tie is loosened.

“Have you heard from the Urologist?” the kitchen swallows the tension and serves it up with the evening meal.

This is marriage. This is what they need to tell you during the ceremony. Will you take this bride with her diverticulum…”.

You lay side by side, bodies motionless, while minds are alert with what if’s and lists. Thoughts crackle, they feel like they will explode from your ears and the top of your head. Bodies motionless. You reach out to hold the familiar hand that lays next to you.

In the morning the routine continues.

“Have you heard from the Urologist?”

You send another note, this one has an edge. You don’t like how you sound but you’ve already rang and you’re not sure what else to do. You need that report.

Another day passes.

In the morning there’s an email.

They haven’t sent the right thing. There’s no letterhead. No detail.

He can’t contain himself any longer.

“Did you read what they sent? Who are these idiots?” It’s been a long week at work.

The crackles and the electricity can no longer contain itself, there’s an explosion.

You both begin sentences of the worst kind.

“You need to…”

“You should have…”

“Why didn’t you..”

“I tried to, but you said”

There’s no time to talk about it. Someone arrives at the door to remind you both it’s the Halloween parade at school.  People need to put costumes on, someone needs a hot pink shirt to show their support for breast cancer. The scene changes, time moves along, but your words hang where you left them. They share the space in between you. You don’t make eye contact while you work together at getting the children ready.

Do you take this bride with her diverticulum and promise to cuff the pants of your Zombie child while she colours the face of your blue crayon?

He says goodbye and you do not kiss. You always kiss.

In the afternoon you stand in a supermarket with a child in an oversized hot pink shirt, a blue crayon, a soldier, and what’s left of a zombie. You wonder how his day has been.

You send a text “getting printer cartridges”.

His reply is chirpy, we’ve been paid, he’s leaving the office shortly.

You arrive home to discover flowers on the table.

“For the love of my life”

Do you take this bride with her diverticulum and her incompetent urological administration staff.

I do.

This is marriage. This is love.

This is G.

This is why I adore him.

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Comments

  1. I felt the stress and anxiety and angst you must have felt on this day!
    I hope that you get your report sooner rather than later!
    xx

  2. I also hope you get that report quickly, and hope it’s the correct report to. Yes, the urologist may be busy, but so are you and your health is hanging in the balance here. Sort of. You know what I mean.

  3. *tears* My husband collapsed a few weeks ago and hit his head on our bed. As the blood was dripping down his face he said he had chest pains and I told him “NO! You are not having a heart attack!!!” Sometimes we yell, but it’s because we can’t imagine life without the other. So now I take him with his scar on his forehead and he takes me and my feisty temperament.

  4. Oh this is beautifully written, this is exactly what marriage is like. Thinking of you and your diverticulum. Vix x

  5. ALL THE BEST TO THE WONDERFUL COUPLE
    VANI

  6. Description of marriage is perfect! We had exactly one of those yesterday – about a bank transfer though, not defunct urologist staff 🙂
    Best of luck Kirsty.
    xxx

  7. Rob Sutherland says

    Hmm after this I’d sound shallow if I said I just stayed with Rosko because she’s a good earner wouldn’t i?

    Oh and as for G-Star you know you’re just keeping him warm till I get my hands on him at chrissy yeah?

  8. This just brought tears to my eyes… bravo G, and bravo you, and bravo both for showing how marriage *is* and why it’s worth fighting for. I only read your “Miners for vaginas” blog yesterday after our chat and have been thinking about you and what you are facing all day… I lost an hour out of my afternoon today to a school issue, and the stress nearly gave me a migraine (big deadline looming)- I CANNOT imagine how you are both coping with the whole 6 week thing that awaits you. Hugs to you both. Oh, and please let me know your urologist’s email address. I’m sending this blog to him/her.

  9. wow vegemitevix says it all …
    and I can I say that I am not a big cryer but the line “for the love of my life” made me sob aloud (to the point where the kids looked up to see what was happening) …
    so much truth, you nailed it!
    best of luck with the report arriving f’in yesterday already!!!!! and yep send that email address out, we need to get us a movement going here … there is a woman’s sanity at stake.
    big big hug

  10. This is so perfectly written, Kirsty. You’ve captured EXACTLY what marriage is like! Yay for you and G. Plus I hope that bloody report arrives soon! xx

  11. Yep – this is marriage and parenting and life and love right there. Hope you ride through this rough patch together and heres to good health (and competent admin who should just do their bloody job!)

    You do know hes not angry and railing at you but the world and its unfairness and his inability to play protector and fixer of the love of his life dont you of course you do what am I thinking

  12. I’ve got me one of those – and he’s a keeper!

    Sometimes it is just like this in that we can hardly find the words. And it doesn’t matter so much about the words and if we smooth things out, or get our point across, or figure out what’s going to happen. But only reassurances of love and support.

    Thinking about you all and the road ahead….

  13. Aww, you had to go and make me tear up. One time I was on vacation and picking up groceries for the beach house at the local store. As I perused the cereal choices, I said aloud ‘Oh it’s nice to finally get to pick the cereal without everyone chiming in…’ A quiet voice replied ‘I would give anything for my husband to be alive to tell me what cereal he wanted…’ I felt so small, not because she meant me to (she didn’t), but because I’d lost sight of what was important. These days with one back in uni and another in later years of high school, I find myself thinking ‘Please inconvenience me, please ask me to drive/pick something up/wash/buy…’

  14. Beautiful writing x

  15. Oh this is beautiful Kirst. Yes, this IS marriage!

  16. Hear hear. You could have been describing MY marriage, too!

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