Blogs Are Boring.

Blogs are becoming boring.

They’re like bottoms. Everyone has one.

Blah, blah, blah.

Share. Share. Share.

Follow me on Friday, Share me on Sunday. Make me famous by Monday. Read me, READ me, READ MEEEEEE!

Someone needs to tell you they’re an alcoholic, someone else wants you to know they make hats for goldfish. Someone is co-sleeping with their eight year old, and someone else has a child with a beard. And then there’s the guru blogger who just happens to be an alcoholic with a goldfish wearing a hat and an eight year old child with a beard, who they are currently sleeping with. Lucky bitch.

There’s a group, they link, they share, they meet. They tell their story.

My children are making me thirsty, I need wine. Let me whine about my wine. I need to stop eating. Help me stop eating. What are you eating? What are you wearing? I need to write my opinion on the latest cat food commercial, the price of a bus ticket, and Jennifer Aniston’s marital status.

People. Talk. In. One. Word. Sentences.

THIS!

LOVE.

I realized a few days ago when I wrote about needing surgery involving my lady bits and a urologist with a headlamp, that I may have crossed the line. I’d entered the world of tell all, share all. Why? Perhaps I had to, it felt dishonest not to. It was consuming my mind and not writing about it felt like a lie.

The overshare is more likely the have to share. The please share, I need you to share. The thank you for sharing. The I’m ready to share. Here it is. The whole truth. There I said it.

I’m not going to tell you personal issues about my family. God knows a twelve year old supplies endless anecdotes, I’m talking REALLY good blog fodder – but I can’t share her stories. For they are hers to tell.

There will always be the bloggers making hats for goldfish. And then there will be the others. The bloggers who make you laugh out loud while sitting on public transport, bloggers whose words you return to three times in a day. Bloggers who captivate you. Brutally honest bloggers who you want to blog forever because you can’t imagine logging in and not finding them there.

I know most of you don’t read the comments. So, just incase you missed it, I had to share this. This is one of the reasons why I blog – because there’s a women called Judy on the other side of the world who I’ve never met who made me laugh on a really shitty day..

Thank you Judy and thank you everyone else.

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO
paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where
skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes,
attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the
practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks,
and completed the exam with tremendous skill.. When the results came back,
he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, “I don’t
want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if
there is an error in the grade?” “The instructor said, “During the exam,
you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total
mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth
50%of the mark.”

After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50%
because you did it all through the muffler, which I’ve
never seen done in my entire career”.

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Comments

  1. Ha ha ha, Gold Gold Gold for Judy!! Thank you for making sure I could read that!! I’m truly laughing to myself here!

  2. I often spend longer reading the comments than I do the actual post…does that make me weird? I have the same policy of sharing as you, if it’s not my story I don’t tell it. PS I think this is the first time I’ve actually commented (ironic given my earlier statement about commenting). Hope the preparations for your return are coming along in a not too frantic way…

  3. Like, like, like. That is gold. And I usually only read comments if I’m leaving one. Don’t often do that though.

  4. Yes, there are many boring blogs out there but your blogs are never boring. You have just proved it once again. Thanks for sharing that very funny story from Judy.

  5. Thanks for capturing my own ambivalence about blogs, and for coming down on the positive side in the end.

  6. Hit the nail on the head with your assessment of blogging, oversharing, who to read and why. You could make a career out of reading and responding to blogs, but why would you? There is a small handful I follow religiously, and a larger group I check in with as time allows. Blogging is a lot like editing a book: just because something happened doesn’t mean it’s worthy of being included. Show rather than tell. I try to be scrupulous about writing my own life and not others, and in a few select instances I’ve carefully weighed the consequences and asked permission (e.g., my father’s cancer and my parents’ aging). In the end, the blogs that are the most authentic (not necessarily the most revealing), well written and make a connection are the ones I return to over and over again. Very often the connection between blogger and reader can be revealed in the comments, but that is only part of the story. I have no goldfish (but I do have a neurotic cat and a dog she can make nervous just by looking at him), my children don’t have beards (although my son occasionally sports what he hopes might become one), and I like wine. There you go.

  7. I so agree- but this is so funny I’ll just have to follow you …

  8. I really don’t want to offend so please don’t misunderstand….. I am a devoted reader and I do understand all the subtleties behind this post. But the goldfish and the hat might be reading your blog as well, you know, in hope of a (generally, perhaps not situationally) more exciting life. And blogs are just like people, some more fun, some less so, but all (most?) wanting to connect.

  9. Yours is one of those blogs which makes me laugh out loud. Thank you.

  10. Excellent post, and great joke from Judy, love it!

  11. You are right Kirsty, I started out reading lots and lots of blogs but over time you tend to only return to the ones that make you laugh or cry… the ones that make you feel. I love your blog so please dont stop… I am just waiting for your book to be published now! LYW. H.

  12. funny joke but also very true about bloggers..
    it’s a bit like your own opinion in a democracy..
    you can have one. but you don’t HAVE to. really..

  13. That’s the beauty of blogging. It’s just like meeting new people or reading a book. Some you can really connect with and others not so much. People have the right to pick and choose what they read or don’t read. I don’t have a long “must read” blog list and most of the blogs I read are about dogs but you happen to be one of the few human ones I read. I’ve had some people who I really wish would have kept blogging but I know other things start to take priority.
    I love that joke Judy left. I read that a long time ago but had completely forgotten about it.
    Maybe to some newer readers you went TMI but those of us who have been around a while should completely understand.
    I spend just as much time reading the comments as I do the blog.

  14. And I thought you were preparing us for writing your last blog. As for the comments, a blogger told me in the beginning, come for the blog, stay for the comments. Thanks for both.

  15. I think blogging has always been like that – a lot of boring stuff sprinkled with some really entertaining stories by gifted storytellers. There is good blogging going on out there, and it is worth looking for. It’s not really the content so much as how it is told, I think.

  16. Trish Mills says

    When I read your blog I think of all the funny, normal, weird, sad and monumentous things that happen in my life and I wish I had your gift for getting the story just right. In my head it sounds good. On paper it’s hats for goldfish. I’m happy to continue living vicariously through you.

  17. I think what brings readers back for more is your authenticity and sincerity. You make us laugh and cry and feel what you’re experiencing. Thanks for sharing!

  18. loved it <3 i consider your blog to be in the 'must read' now where can i get a hat for my goldfish???

  19. You made me laugh & you also help me realize why I write about my little pece of the world….xxx

  20. HA!
    I don’t often laugh out loud at posts I read online, but that one did it for me – pass my thanks on to Judy, will you?

    And yes – I do read comments – I almost always find a viewpoint or an opinion that hadn’t occurred to me while reading the original post – and you have some especially thoughtful readers!

  21. Blogs are boring….but they are life….and life is never dull.

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