I resigned today. I QUIT!

I resigned today. I quit. I did it like you see in the movies, I shouted “That’s it! I’m done. No one here appreciates me and I’m OVER it”.

There was silence. 
The day hadn’t started well. It was nothing big, just a series of small things. There was a disagreement at breakfast, someone “accidentally” threw a brush at someone which resulted in tears and a cut lip, someone “forgot” to brush their teeth so we ran back upstairs for the third time after getting in the car. I quickly went to pour a cup of coffee for the trip. No milk. They’d drank all of the milk.
As I made my way through the supermarket with the same vacuous expression on my face as those I passed in the isles, I heard an announcement over the speakers. “In just a moment one lucky winner will receive all the items in their trolley for free”.  I raced to checkout 6 at what appeared to be the perfect time “3…2…1…spin” the chocolate wheel flicked through the numbers “the winner is checkout number 7!!” The woman next to me jumped in the air and screamed.
I paid the bill and then realized I’d forgotten the milk.
I had two of the little travelers with me in the school cafeteria while we waited for the girls to finish their after school activities. It was just me and the boys, until 10 minutes before it was time to leave and I realized I only had one son. “Where did your brother go?” I asked the 4th Little Traveller. He was as clueless as I was. We did an entire lap of the High School, I screamed out his name across the oval, made my way to the basketball courts and then wondered which phone call to make first. “I’m up here” he was giggling “I’ve been watching you the whole time”.
I made eye contact. I did not speak. I was too angry to speak. I began walking.
The next 10 minutes are a bit of a blur but these are the things I remember. The fourth little traveler hit the third over the head with his lunch box. The second little traveler outed me to the music teacher as being untrustworthy with information, when she made me publicly admit that I may have lost the details to the choir concert next week. The third traveler returned the lunch box favour. The music teacher made me follow her to her classroom so she could find me *insert sigh from second little traveller here* another choir concert form. The fourth little traveller tried to trip the third traveler over on the way to the car. The second traveler then locked the doors of the car and didn’t let them in and once she did, she didn’t let them sit down on their seats. 
“I quit! I’m done. Noone appreciates me” screamed a heinous voice from the front of the car, I suddenly realized it was coming from my mouth. My hands were shaking, I could feel the blood pulsing through a vein next to my right eye. “It’s all over. I don’t want this job anymore. Tomorrow you can all get yourselves to school”.
Silence.
“Your behaviour today is unforgivable. You are the naughtiest children I’ve ever met!”
Silence.

The third little traveler thought for a moment and then decided to dispute the “unforgivable” but the second little traveler shot him a look that said ‘stop talking right now – she’s not herself’.

“I’m done. I’m going home and I’m handing in my resignation. I will not be taking you to school anymore. You will need to make alternative arrangements”
Silence. 
The fourth little traveller looked up from his lap “I guess this means we’ll need to find another Australian mother” he volunteered to the others.  By the look on their faces I could see they were as perplexed as I was on why the new mother had to be Australian.
More silence. 
When we arrived home I announced the new changes. “Help yourselves to snacks guys. You may remember that I recently resigned? This will also apply to dinner and homework. Good luck, I wish you all the best”.
I left the room.
The apologies came one by one. I tried to keep up the facade but I wanted to get the homework out of the way and set the table. We made snacks, we began to see the humor, someone giggled and we talked about why Mummy went a little crazy in the car. “You were a bit scary Mummy – I was getting a bit sad”.
A wave of guilt ran over me and then I remembered watching her push her backpack in to her brothers face as she straddled the seat to make sure he couldn’t sit down. “You were a bit scary too darling – I’m not sure it was our finest hour – not for any of us”
This was my first and last resignation. If I tried it again I imagine it would pass by unnoticed, they’d call my bluff. I checked on my conditions of employment and it appears that I’m in the role until I’m made redundant. 
I’ve bought extra milk. I’m not doing it tomorrow without coffee.
Have you ever turned in to scary Mummy?

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Comments

  1. I suggest you also stock up on hard liquor xx

  2. I’ve never resigned, but there was a dark moment shortly after one of our moves when tensions were high and the boys were small, when they pushed me over the edge and I got so angry I jumped up and down in place to punctuate my yelling.  14yo still remembers it quite clearly (he was 3 at the time.)  I rarely – if ever – yell, so  the combination of the yelling and the jumping must have made quite an impression.  All I can remember is feeling frustrated beyond belief with both of them.  I have no doubt at all that every Mum can relate! Just wish I’d thought of resigning.  It would probably have had a more longlasting effect than the jumping!

  3. Yep, I’ve totally turned into scary mummy. 

    There have been a couple of instances when the kids refused to clean up, something snapped in my head and I swept the lot into a massive garbage bag and chucked it all in the bin in front of their astounded faces.

    The house was very clean and tidy for a few days thereafter, but these stunts have limited workability. Pull them too often and the kids will not react at all!

  4. With only one child I don’t know if I have ever lost it quite like that but I do remember a few times when I threw my hands up in despair at both my child and my husband and saying enough is enough – I am leaving and when the two of you sort it out, you can call me and I will come back.  I did get to the point of taking a suitcase out the cupboard and starting to fill it before they got it together !

    Have a great day !
    Love, hugs and positive energy !

  5. I have totally resigned before! in a blaze of glory much like yours!
    And then i learnt like all the best employees tat it was all about delegating and that until then I had done EVERYTHING…i mean everything!  My kids were so much more capable than I let them be. We sat down and wrote a list of the jobs I did  EVERY SINGLE DAY.and then I told them they had to choose one job each and that I was NEVER EVER emptying the dishwasher EVER again. when I saw that list i realised why i was so tired.and my kids learnt to appreciate a bit more of what it was like to be me.i still get scary quite often …..but my kids do the dishwasher EVERY SINGLE TIME and for that I am eternally grateful. xx

  6. At least 3 times a day, every single day.

    They don’t care, lol.  They know mummy is crazy.

  7. oh is it terrible that I laughed through this?

    I have wanted to resign – but haven’t been able to find anyone to give the damn resignation too. They are the same person that I have to apply for annual leave as well.

    Bloody bastard is never around!!

  8. I just hope I handle it as stylishly as you x

  9. I resign nearly every day. Or throw shit. I throw a lot of crap to vent my frust-ar-a-shums (as Charlie calls them…)

    You are music to my mothering soul.

    xx

  10. Brilliant K! Does it make me a bad person that your mummy-meltdown made me feel better?? I’ve had multiple mummy-meltdowns over the years and at each time was sure I was unique and unqualified for the job. Thankfully no one was available to either fire me or accept my resignations, because as it turns out, I was more skilled for the post than I could have known 🙂 Fab blog!

  11. Oh yes, I’ve resigned. I sometimes get to the point where I’m so angry I either order them out of my sight or go upstairs and tell them to get their own dinner. They are now 15 and 10 so quite capable of rustling something up.

    On one occasion (when there was a former boyfriend in the house), I was so angry I got up and walked out and went to see a friend down the road. That shook them up, I can tell you.

  12. I’ve so wanted to resign so many times but mine are only four and 19 months so have no idea what it is!!

    Love your blog 🙂

  13. Lmao omg this could be me on any given day…I’m sure I’ve resigned in a flood of tears as well before! Was crying tears of laughter at your little one saying they needed to find a new Australian mother! Hahaha how did you keep a straight face?!

  14. Resign? Honey, I don’t even remember signing on for any of this shit in the first place….

  15. Apparently I have a few times. Well, the 13 year old teenager has called me ‘psycho’ from time to time, that may have been on the odd occasion I loose the plot. As I remind them often, I would have no reason to if they actually did what I asked the 1st or even 2nd time – and always from running late for work!!

  16. Claireyhewitt says

    So where do you find another Australian Mum! Amongst all that, there are still lines that are wo funny.

  17. Hysterical Kirsty!

    Of course I have turned into scary mummy. They tune me out now and it has almost effectively extinguished my scary behaviour!

  18. have lost count … and i only have two! you are doing AWESOME.  xt

  19. Regularly…;-)

  20. Ok, leaving you a link to a post
    http://homeschool.bywordofmouthmusings.com/2011/10/the-wrath-of-god/
    yes, wrath of God …
    I was more than scary!

  21. Last night I was scary.  I was screaming like a banshee at my (one) daughter.  She turned her back to me in bed and said “Mommy shouting doesn’t achieve anything, why don’t you rather give me a consequence, then I can learn from the things I do wrong”.  I swallowed.  I am supposed to be the adult and she’s only 7.

  22. How bad is this?  Between finishing the article and writing this comment!  Is my children don’t finish their homework in the next 5 minutes, I shall repeat.  Stay tuned!

  23. Janeinsingapore says

    Most realistic post yet! Was just thinking you were too quiet for too long.

  24. I resigned. I sent the child to a neighbor, packed my bag, and checked into a local motel. I came home to a really clean house.

  25. I pulled the car over one day and told the kids (or maybe I yelled it) that it will not move another inch until everyone in the car shuts up!!! I felt so bad afterwards, but it felt so great for a millisecond.

  26. I turn into scary mummy by whispering, or rather talking through clenched teeth. Shouting in my house just doesn’t cut it and usually ends with more shouting and tears. Calm and quiet can be Very Scary!
    x

  27. Kath Lockett says

    Absolutely!  I ‘quit’ on Friday night.  Sapphire has been sick with a stomach bacterial infection for four weeks so life and commitments and socialising has been cancelled. It’s been visits to the doctor, hospital and pharmacy for me, followed only by housework.  Love Chunks and Sapphire were treated to a teensy weensy little list of things that I’d done that THEY HAD’NT BOTHERED TO NOTICE OR APPRECIATE.  As hugs and apologies and declarations of love abounded, Mr Migraine decided to pay me  a visit and smack me flat for the rest of the night and all day Saturday.  If only he’d forget the pain and instead give me a day of rest and recuperation instead!

  28. Sadly I have too turned into scary mother – more than a few times over the past 8 years. I always feel awful and always apologize – but also reassure myself, ‘I am human’ and really, as a parent, we are constantly striving to be ‘good role models’ – but it isn’t easy when our children push every button possible to test our patience (and when we’re running on empty on the coffee front then incidents are always a dozen times harder to handle!). 

    Brilliantly written by the way x

  29. What!? This is the first time you lost it, with four kids. You are a God. 

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