Three Months On.

I knew the dream had become ridiculous when Justin Bieber arrived. It wasn't really Justin Bieber, it was my friend Michael, but everyone around me seemed to be convinced. It provided a hiccup, one of those moments in a dream where you lose your focus, a moment when amongst the fear, the guilt and the grief you snap out of it and think "that's not … [Read more...]

Normal.

The normal continues. The dentist, the doctors, the school drop offs, the packing of suitcases for the school holidays. It's the not normal though, the not normal jumps in front of our faces, stopping us in our tracks.The first little traveler had an orthodontist appointment this morning. They rang us to say we had to go to a different venue. In … [Read more...]

Anger.

The second little traveler wanted to wear a blue headband this morning. She had a pink one, a purple one, and a rainbow one in her hand - but she didn't want to wear them, she wanted to wear the blue one. We couldn't find it. I could see by the expression on her face that it was about to become an issue. The second little traveler is not known for … [Read more...]

No Words

We wandered around as if we'd been sedated. Grocery shopping and school drop offs were done quietly, hugs at the school gate lasted longer. I stood in the vegetable section of the supermarket and watched people cry with strangers, they shook their heads and agreed that there were no words. A girlfriend of mine sat down next to me and said "I'm not … [Read more...]

Numb with Grief

When the first little traveler was nearly two I decided to search for some child care options. My pregnancy with the second little traveler was proving to be a physical challenge that I wasn't winning. Each morning I would kneel in front of the toilet while the first traveler patted my back saying "You okay Mummy? I sing you song?" I'd lost about 8 … [Read more...]