What Would Your Chemo Song Be?

I took the advice of a friend. I grabbed every email, text and offer of support from friends here in Doha and made a little Facebook group. I’d spent a couple of days running into people and repeating the same information again and again and it was bringing me down. Not the catching up with the friends bit, just the constant cancer chat. Where is it exactly? How did you find it? How long will the chemo last? What’s in the chemo? What does that mean? When do you go to see the doctor next? How are the kids coping? Is G okay? Where is it again? Can you see where they’ve cut it out? I can’t see, you don’t really look any different.

I started a group.

I added my Mum and a couple of girlfriends from home who I knew would want to know exactly what was going on. The kind of people who say “are you okay, maybe I should come over?” It felt weird to add them knowing that they couldn’t pop in with a casserole or pick the kids up from school, but it didn’t matter, they were there. Last night my girlfriend Penny wrote a note to the group, a suggestion of something that she could do from afar, someone everyone could get involved in.

“I’m suggesting that we all nominate a song for Kirsty to listen to while she’s sitting around.”

She suggested Sugar by Robin Schulz and Francesco Yates. The idea was to choose a song that meant either something to me or something to them or just a song they liked.

“I’m imagining listening to this after a long lunch at Star of Greece, dancing with a glass of wine…”

I loved it. I LOVED IT. I mean how more perfect can you get. As people started to share their suggestions I downloaded – I now have a playlist titled “chemo”.

I started to think of what my song would be. I was thinking of my new best cancer friend in Singapore who was counting down her next 5 treatments. “I’ll be done by Christmas”.

A couple of years ago my friend Darien sent me a song for my birthday. It seemed so apt at the time, my birthday is on New Years Eve and the song title is This Year. We had a few people at the house that night and it was played on high rotation.

I wrote about Darien a few months ago, he’s my friend who was diagnosed with liver cancer. It’s kind of funny to think that while I was driving Darien to his radiation appointment I was sitting next to him with a little cancer of my own. When I was diagnosed I rang him and told him I was sick of him getting all the attention. We now compare cancer care tales and talk multi-diciplanary teams. He’s jealous of my outcomes and I’m jealous he’s still got hair.

When I was thinking about what my song would be I realised it had to be This Year. It’s the chorus, it’s no longer about the New Year, it’s about making it through the old one. My chemo will be done by Christmas and while they’ll still be radiation to follow I feel like if I can just make it through the chemo with the new job, the kids and the illness, I’ll have made it. I can do it.

“I am going to make through this year if it kills me.”

*ignore the film clip but listen to the song*

Okay, I need to fill my playlist. What would your chemo song be? It doesn’t have to be uplifting or have meaning.  What should I listen to? What would you listen to?

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