What a difference a week makes. This time last week I was devastated with the news that I had breast cancer. Today I’m elated with the news that I only have breast cancer. This was me on Facebook last night.
Today we returned to the scene of the crime. The same waiting room I had sat in last week in a haze. The same two women behind the desk. Women who last week were strangers in grey cardigans. Last week I sat alone, confused, and shellshocked. This week G is next to me.
“Where’s the tribe?” they ask, looking behind us for the children. “They’re very well behaved, it’s nice how they play together like they do.”
We sit for nearly two hours watching a multitude of women with x-rays, cd’s, and pathology reports arrive and depart. I know my surgeon is going to squeeze us in when he can, he’s waiting on my MRI results, he’ll know when he see’s them if I require a full mastectomy or an initial lumpectomy.
I haven’t asked G what he thinks will happen, while I know he’s practical and wants me alive, he’s also very much a boob guy. I’m reminded of Robbie Williams describing what is was like to watch his wife give birth “it was like watching my favourite pub burn down”.
“What do you think he’ll say?” I whisper in G’s direction.
G is busy reading the entire contents of the internet on his phone. He shrugs.
“I have no idea”. He’s calm, he’s always calm.
We wait a little longer. I watch young women, older women, skinny women, larger women all go before me and I realise cancer doesn’t have a type. It doesn’t care. It’s random. You can be rich, poor, fashionable or sensible. You can quit sugar, you can be paleo, you can do the 5:2, or maybe you can smoke and drink and forget to exercise on a daily basis. Cancer doesn’t care. No-one knows why it happens, that’s why it happens.
I realise there’s one person left when the doctor calls her name. He looks in my direction as he ushers her towards his room.
“Oh!” he’s smiles looking happy to see me “It’s good news! I’ll see you in a minute, but it’s good news!”
G’s favourite pub is to be modified. On Tuesday I will go in for a lumpectomy, they will remove the cancer and roughly one cm around it, they will also take a few lymph samples from under my arm. I’ll be in hospital for the day and home the following morning. We’ll then wait for pathology reports and find out what happens next. Chemo? Radiation? Who knows, but at this point the focus is on getting the lump out so we know what we’re dealing with.
It’s amazing what a difference a week makes.
Sign up for the best bits here
Sign up for the best bits from our community of forty thousands expats. Every Saturday morning we’ll shoot you the five hottest topics from the world of expat.
Well this is sounding ‘as good as cancer gets’ so I am going to hold on to this and hope it continues this way xxx
Thank you gorgeous, so far so good. xxx
Well I think this is good news! And you have kicked me up the bum to make that mammogram appointment that I have been thinking about for 6 months.
Early detection is the best thing you can hope for with breast cancer. Have the mammogram and then let me know, I bet you’ll be fine xx
A little bit of good news , the best news of the week,
Sure is! xx
Not many words. Just big thoughts …thinking of you, and hoping that the outcome is the very best it can be.
Thanks so much Johanna xxx
So glad to hear. Hope the next step goes well.
The remark about how cancer does not discriminate is oh so true. My father lost his sister to bowel cancer last year. His mother in all her wisdom at 105 said ‘see all those funny diets and things she use to follow to stop her from getting cancer it does not stop it in the end’
Wishing you a speedy recovery xxx
🙂 xx
What a difference a week makes, eh?
I had a similar experience to you a few years ago. Left the check up til the last few days of a trip back to Sydney a few years ago … left knowing there was a large lump which looked OK, but still need to be removed.
The waiting is awful. Your imagination plays horrid tricks. Wonder why they are always negative in situations like this?
x
That’s exactly it, your imagination starts to work on some disastrous stories. xx
Thank goodness for better news. What a week you have had.
Thanks Mary xxx
I agree that there is no discrimination.
I also understand the fact that you would worry about G’s favourite pub undergoing major refurbishment. It’s always a worry with redecorating a place, you never really know if the patrons are going to like it as much afterwards. 😉
I suspect there will have to be lots of discussions around it, fears to be faced on both sides (“Will it hurt when he touches me? Will I experience the same sensations” “I don’t want to hurt her.” “Will I like the new way they feel?” and so many more). As with most things in life, communication is key. It looks like both of you are doing great in that regard. Just keep remembering that yes, the most important thing is that you’re here, alive. I’m sure that no matter how much G likes boobs, he prefers feeling you by his side.
Good luck with it all. Sending positive thoughts your way.
XO
Beautiful words Corinne xxx
My doctor always asked for a urine sample before the exam and as you sat on the toilet and peed into a cup (you get the visual) the wall facing you said – Are you at risk for breast cancer? And listed a bunch of different cartoons – tall women, short, thin and over weight, models and homeless, all colors (I mean ALL as in green and purple women) and it went on and on. And you want to finish reading the damn list to see if you’re on there (I’m not the model nor am I green – OK I’m not thin, either). The last line was – yes because you are a female. Renovate the pub and take one day at a time. Strong positive thoughts coming to you from Michigan xo
That makes me thing of the breast cancer booklet I was handed this week. Your biggest threat to getting breast cancer? Being a woman.
It all sounds so scary yet you bring it down to earth with ‘good news’, and even better that you’ve got G to support you right now. Whatever comes next we’ll all be here with you. And I’ve been putting it off but will be booking my annual check up this week.
Thanks so much Amanda, it really means a lot. I have been incredibly touched by the well wishes and support. It’s really helped xxx
Great news, and no, cancer has no type. It just is…and sometimes it sucks more than others. Wishing you smooth sailing through your op…hydrate and rest! Let your tribe spoil you 🙂
Thanks Leanne, will do xxx
My G told me on Mothers Day “I love you the way you were, the way you are and the way you will be”, and I’ve been through some changes and we both had things happen in our lives, like most people. No doubt your G will love you unconditionally, maybe even more than before, with or without pub renovations. You’ll get through this together.
I love love love it. “I love you the way you were, the way you are and the way you will be”. Beautiful xx
As news goes, this Friday’s is so much better than last. All good wishes and thoughts headed your way dear K xxx
Sure is Denyse. Day by day.xx
Wonderful news. I’m thrilled that it’s really shaping up to be #justalittlebitofcancer. xx
This is good news indeed. Wishing you all the best as you get through this bit and back to normal. (well your normal, that is) Sending hugs. <3
So happy that its contained! If you are going to get cancer, that’s the best kind to get.
As someone with a mother who’s had this twice, a sister, an aunt and a grandmother…I wait for the day my diagnosis comes…its not an if its a when…and I know from watching my family go through this that my only choice will be double mastectomy and new boobs. I’ve never wanted to be someone with artificial anything, however I also don’t want the cancer to come back (as its done to my mother) So take a little time to make your decision. You alive and healthy for a long long time is way more important to your spouse then his favorite pub being remodeled… (on a side note, my mom loves her perky 20 year old boobs on her 70 year old body)
Yay!!!
Wishing you all the best,and sending virtual hugs. X I don’t know you,but as a former ex-pat,can empathise with you. Loads of good luck Kirsty xxx
Xxxxxxxx times 100
LCM x
Wishing you all the best Kirsty and so pleased it’s contained x
So glad to hear this. I’ll be holding my breath from Minnesota for you on Tuesday. Here’s hoping for even better news.
So glad to hear it’s relatively good news.
Best news! I love your attitude x
When I had my recent misdiagnosis, I called my mum to tell her about it. She couldn’t understand why I seemed so elated. It wasn’t great news, but it was SO much better than the news I had had earlier. Perspective is a wonderful thing!
Best of luck. Once you know the course, it’s makes it so much easier to follow, even if it’s a rough road ahead, you can do this. It’s the not knowing that’s hard. Take care, my sweet. xx