Expat women, particularly expat mothers are often mocked for their employment of home help. Unless you’ve been raised in a world where home help is the norm, the notion of having a ‘stranger’ living in the family home seems both awkward and unnecessary. I was sure when we took off on our expat adventure that we’d be going it alone. When we moved to Jakarta it took me about three weeks to change my mind. There were many reasons: the house was huge, I couldn’t speak the language when people came to knock on the gate, I had a husband who travelled which meant I was often alone with a new baby. Probably the most significant reason for the change of heart was the fact that I was constantly being asked if I would employ someone. There were literally thousands of starving people in Jakarta, the salary of a housekeeper could not only feed an entire local family, it could help build a house, pay school fees, and keep a sick relative alive.
I’ve witnessed life changing moments for women who have taken on roles as domestic workers, but there are also the horror stories. Just this week in Doha an Indonesian housekeeper was beaten so brutally she was hospitalised. In our time in Asia I heard stories involving sexual abuse, unsatisfactory accommodation (staff being made to sleep under the stairs) and the withholding of salaries. I have heard of housekeepers who were made to work seven days a week, fifteen hours a day. As an expat we’ve all seen the silent housekeeper walking three steps behind her employer on a weekend and wondered exactly when she was given a day off. This is why organisations such as TWC2 exist in Singapore.
TWC2 is an organization that is dedicated to assisting low-wage migrant workers when they are in difficulty. If you visit their website you’ll see there’s a number of programs they have running to assist and highlight the issues facing foreign workers in Singapore. Unfortunately you’ll also find this – the most blatant piece of mother shaming I’ve seen in a long time. Produced by Olgivy and Mather this advertisement shows a group of mothers who are asked questions about their child, their answers are then compared to those of their housekeeper.
I have a different idea for the ad, perhaps you could involve the entire family? Perhaps you could have BOTH employers and the child together in the frame and ask them the same questions, except this time make the questions about the housekeeper. What did she have for breakfast? What does she dream about? Who does she like? Is she happy? Perhaps you could talk about employment contracts, treating people with respect, and making sure the person who is looking after your child is not exhausted, homesick and heartbroken.
You missed the mark on this one Ogilvy and Mather, your ad is sexist and dilutes the real issues at play. You’ve put the onus on the mother (do any of these children have a father, what were his statistics?) when you could have been talking about basic human rights. It’s about being a better human, not being a better mother – shame on you for suggesting otherwise.
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Well said
You absolutely hit the nail on the head.
You’ve hit the nail on the head Kirsty. I don’t have a nanny, I’m a full time mum and I’d struggle to answer those questions! I love my kids, but just don’t remember when I’m running around doing a million other things 🙁
This should be about the nanny’s conditions, not how good a mums memory is :-/
Well said, if you’ve not hired help it’s difficult to understand just how much influence you have over another persons life, they are like another member of the family in a way. It can also be very difficult to leave them behind when you move on. I felt so guilty. But the horror stories we used to hear in the gulf were horrendous. It’s an issue I’m afraid will be there for a long time yet.
Absolutely agree! And in fact when they asked the first mother about breakfast I absolutely thought they were asking about the maid! Did the maid have breakfast? And exactly, no fathers, and no context! Poo show indeed.
I think you miss the point, this was not a documentary to provide us with an unbiased and balanced point of view. This is an advert to draw attention to a cause.. for it to be effective it had to be provocative! and it certainly did that ..it is all over expat social media. mission accomplished…
Beg to differ, that’s why I put a link to their page. I think the cause is important – just don’t focus solely on mothers when you talk about needing to spend more time your kids. This is a human rights issue not a parenting issue.
I am not defending them.They want to get maids a fair deal right? treated better in their employment right. The families/parents/ie employers will make that decision and who better to target than mums. Dads would probably say hey ho, so I dont know everything about my kid. They wouldnt expect to or be judged badly by their dad friends for not knowing either. As women we feel attacked for not being the perfect mother and thats why they choose this way to push our buttons… They are highlightening their campaign by being controversial and playing to our supposed weakness… I am not saying that I agree with their strategy ( I do agree it’s a good cause) I am just saying,
see it for what it is !
Unfortunately, there is nothing in the video to show how much or how little time off the domestic help gets. You just hope that the viewer makes a huge assumption, which is a negative one against the mother. Appaling.
“it is all over the expat social media. mission accomplished” ….so you went for the negative press at the expense of mothers – Great job (not) …Just what mothers around the world needed…a kick in the guts to mums everywhere Olgivy & Mather.
As I would say to my kids: don’t put someone else down to make yourself feel better or make you look better to others. Just because the ad is trying to be provocative doesn’t make it right. I’m interested to know a) WHO briefed and approved the ads and b) WHO created them (individuals not the agency). Because anyone who’s been in the situation would never OUT & single out a mother. Never. And you’re right Kirsty there are far better angles to take AND be provocative than how they’ve chosen to do it. Shame, shame, shame.
My jaw has dropped that this just focused on moms. They missed the mark in raising an otherwise relevant subject. You are so right, this shouldn´t be about moms, this is about creating an employment environment that is ethical and supportive of an individual.
Wow – I am stunned by that video. Where are the dads? And yes, focus more on the domestic help as a person rather than how little the mother might know about the child.
I understand why this ad is touching nerves. But I think we are missing a point. Every advertising material has an audience. This one is targeted at the Singaporean household. I don’t think it is targeted at expat mothers? There’s no confirming and there’s no statement that those women in the video are expat mothers. Shaming mothers is wrong in general. I agree that the agency could have chosen a better way of communicating the message.
However, I also see how it was all conceptualized. Research says that in Singapore, there is a big percentage of domestic workers who do not get the mandatory weekly day off. The introductory text for the video points to that statistics. Singaporean employees work an average of 45 hours weekly; longer than most nations. Most Singaporeans are perfectionists, building their confidence through their work. So if you are a full-time, working mother (which is mostly the case in Singapore), you end up leaving your children in your nanny’s care and we know the rest of it. And why are the mothers targeted? Because in Asian culture (and even internationally), the woman of the house manages the household so it becomes her primary responsibility that her family follows the law by ensuring that her domestic helper receive the rights and privileges.
Sometimes, when the situation is too bad and politically correct ads are no longer working, you just have to do something like this one.
I’ve come to this subject the wrong way round – wrote my own post (coincidentally) about domestic staff, then saw the video, then read your piece. I agree, this video is odd (yes, where ARE the dads?) and a hugely missed opportunity. There is certainly an issue to be tackled here, not only in Singapore but all over the world. This includes the UK – my husband has been working in the Human Trafficking Centre for the last four years and has many very sad stories of domestic servitude right here in our own country. In the meantime, I, like you, am keen to try and help people to understand why employing someone to work in your house is not exploitative, so long as you do it the right way. http://expatpartnersurvival.com/2015/04/24/expat-life-and-domestic-staff-from-the-outside-looking-in/