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What the, when the, how the?

Sally: Just wondering if anyone knows where I can find rose scented, gluten free, Japenese taco shells? My two year old son can’t live without them, we were able to get them in London but I can’t find them here?

Xian: Lulu Supermarket – in Saudi

Doug: Look at this adorable picture of a seal swimming in a glass box in the desert. Isn’t it adorable! It did tricks for us for fish.

Jennifer: That’s disgusting. This shouldn’t happen. Fish do not belong in the desert. Fish belong in the sea and on the plates of five star restaurants. You should be ashamed of yourself. I can’t believe your attitude! I’M SO CROSS I’M GOING TO START TALKING IN CAPS LOCK. Here’s my 20 page dissertation on why fish do not belong in the desert.

Raul: Where can I buy tickets to see the fish in the desert?

Jill: I saw someone driving so badly today. It was so bad I took a photo as I was driving to prove it.

Sally: I still can’t find rose scented, gluten free, Japanese taco shells. Does anyone know how to get to Saudi? Can I drive in Saudi? I heard a rumour I can’t drive in Saudi? Is there a Wholefoods in Saudi, obviously not fully stocked but just the gluten free macrobiotic items.

Mo: I would like to adopt a dog

Joe: I rescued this dog yesterday. Have this dog.

Mo: Not that sort of dog. I want a dog with lots of hair that will need to sit on the couch in the air-conditioning throughout the summer eating home made treats.

Joe: My dog is the best dog, why you no want my dog. You very bad person. You don’t deserve dog. I rescued it but I can’t keep it because I’m allergic. I’m holding a fundraising dinner at my house tonight, please bring two bags of dog food and 1000 US dollars.

Adam: Here’s a picture of my dinner tonight. Why do you think the meat is green?

Xian: Did you buy the meat at Lulu?

Saba: I ate green meat once

Shirley: Don’t eat the green meat. You will die. Definitely, no doubt about it. Dead.

Mel: Batter the meat in breadcrumbs.

Ted: When I was young we always ate our meat green, just eat the meat.

Chantel: It’s bad that you eat meat.

Moha: I could never eat meat.

Matt: Did you eat the meat?

Sally: Is the meat gluten free?

Khala: Has anyone heard from Adam?

Deborah: We are moving to Doha and I am looking for school places for my five children. We arrive on Tuesday, which school is the best one?

Mona: I’ve been very very sick lately, someone suggested I see a doctor, where do you find the doctors?

Xian: Lulu supermarket – Saudi

Jill: Seriously, hazard lights, in the fog? I’ve taken another photo while I was driving to show you how bad it was!

Adam: Does anyone know what time I have to be at work tomorrow?

Mo: I want to adopt a cat

Joe: Here’s a cat for adoption, I rescued it yesterday. I would keep it but I’m allergic.

Vladimir: Looking for an arabic teacher, must be young, single, attractive and have own car. Arabic not essential.

Eve: Looking for a daycare centre, must be peanut free, and sensitive to lactose intolerance, any good recommendations?

Roxanne: How old is your child Eve?

Eve: No child yet, planning on getting pregnant in October 2017.

Joan: My husband was offered a job at Shell as the leading ladder holder, how much should he get paid?

Robert: I’m the leading ladder holder at Shell?

Sally: For Sale – Household goods – moving back to London. Items for sale: IKEA bed, IKEA dining room table, IKEA tv cabinet, IKEA shoes, IKEA underwear, IKEA toothbrush, IKEA soap and ten unopened packets of rose scented gluten free Japanese tacos.

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