How Not To Hate Your Nemisis

I was at a girlfriend’s birthday dinner, a small group of both parents and young adults. It must have been about 1988? The girls were down one end of the table, the parents at the other. One of the parents, a friend’s father, asked who I’d thought had been Australia’s best Prime Minister thus far – without hesitation I jumped in with “Gough Whitlam!” Their reaction was to erupt into hysterical laughter, as in thigh slapping hysterics. I couldn’t have chosen a more mismatched audience to share my view, a group of country farmers, ardent Malcolm Fraser supporters – the very man who’d asked for the sacking of Gough.

The thing is, I knew that Gough wasn’t “the best”, my parents had both discussed Gough’s economic inadequacies over the dinner table – but when it came to progressive politics as a young idealist, it was hard not to stand in awe of Gough’s optimism and enthusiasm.

Cate Blanchett was able to capture exactly why the death of Australia’s former Prime Minister meant so much to a child of our vintage. (Cate and I are the same age, that’s why we look like twins).

As an Aussie abroad I’ve watched from afar as my countrymen and women have taken a moment to reflect on the life of Gough Whitlam this week. I’ve read and listened to essays and articles from those who adored him and those who despised everything Gough stood for. But there was one speech that stood out more than others for me.

For those reading who are not Australian, nor of the complete understanding of how our political systems works  – I won’t go into great detail, but this clip is from someone from the opposing side, speaking of a relationship between two former Prime Ministers. Two Prime Ministers who had the ultimate showdown resulting in the end of a career for one, and perhaps a perpetual blot on the resume of the other.

Is there a bigger compliment than having someone who disagrees with your politics and ideals feel so affectionately towards you?

I’ve been thinking this week about my friend John. John and I have to agree to disagree when it comes to issues such as climate change and conservative politics. However, if you were to ask me for a list of my top 10 favourite people in the world, John would be there at the top end of the list. When I think of the true meaning of a gentleman, I picture John with his qualities of kindness, chivalry and honour. Politics has no place in friendships. We’re allowed to disagree, see the world differently, surely this is how we learn? By listening to another point of view?

At Gough Whitlam’s memorial this week I listened as the crowd boo’d opposing political members as they arrived, something I have no doubt that Gough with his visionary bipartisan attitude would have cringed at. A man who didn’t let hatred eat him away, as Malcolm Turnbull said an enhancer, enlarger, a man with a big vision.

Something we can also aspire to, whatever our political views.

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Comments

  1. So, so true Kirsty. I think it’s so, so, so important to have people from all walks of life, all political persuasions, religion, etc in your life. Surround yourself with people just like you, and well, that’s pretty dull. I love to provoked and see the world through different eyes.
    I love to have a good old debate with someone on hot topic on the opposing side and still be able to laugh it off at the end. When we first met my husband was horrified that I would have great big old arguments with people and it wouldn’t actually become personal. Just a debate. He knows me now and likes to join in.

  2. A fabulous speech…he could show Tony a thing or two about public speaking!

    This post makes me think of my Sister. We are the best of friends but you couldn’t find two people more polar opposite than the two of us. I love that when we have a healthy debate about life or politics or the environment we have such different opinions but we still respect one another. We may not agree on certain things but she has most certainly opened my mind and has at times changed my opinion on topics. I love having people in my life that feel differently towards things than I do, how else can we learn and grow.

    My parents have always encouraged debate, I spent most nightly dinners with my family debating whatever the hot topic of the day was and I plan on encouraging Sadie to do the same.

  3. I grew up in WA & in the country so my family have always been on the Liberal or Nationals farmer side like your friends, but since I have started blogging it is amazing to see the amount of people in the Eastern States who are Labor supporters (especially on twitter) My hubby teases me that I am leaning towards the left to join the Labor/greens. For me it is about the issues rather than the actual party itself because I don’t believe one party has all the answers for all the people of Australia. I think the secret of debate is to actually lead with passion but back yourself with actual facts. Stops people talking over you, when they think they are right.

    • Unfortunately we can’t pick and choose the policies to form the governments, and have to sort through who has the overall best policies, best leadership and integrity. I don’t see much of the best of anything in the leading parties these days.

  4. You should listen to Noel Pearsons Eulogy as well. Whilst I agree the booing was inappropriate in that context it was telling as to the mood of the guests. There is a kind of perversity having the architects of the demise of his policies sitting there’at the service whilst his policies and achievements are celebrated.

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