The Top 10 Signs Summer Has Arrived

After what has been a fabulously long winter/spring break, it appears the heat is now on. It’s possible if you live in the Middle East you’ve never had to search for details on the current temperature, as your newsfeed is full of friend’s photos of their car’s temperature gauge. Competitions are regularly held on who is the hottest, and not in an I’m looking good way, more in a the sweat is running down my back and into my underpants way.

Over the years I’ve had many friends from home who have asked what it’s like to live in the dessert in the summer. So here it is, the top 10 signs that summer has arrived:

  1. You notice your vision is blurred. This is due to the fact that your contact lenses have shrivelled up in your eyes and dropped to the ground.
  2. You and your children have matching tattoos, both in the form of the seatbelt which has become your own personal branding iron.
  3. Your toenail polish melts into your socks on the way to the gym.
  4. You walk from the car park to the office and re-apply make-up on arrival. You walk from the car to the restaurant and re-apply make-up on arrival. You walk from the car to a friend’s party and think about reapplying your lipstick when you remember that you gave up wearing make-up a couple of months ago.
  5. You constantly explain to your children that “No, Mummy has not wet her pants” and chide yourself for wearing the light grey dress which now has two perfectly formed sweaty leg stains giving the appearance of an incontinence problem.
  6. You remark with excitement to friends “Oh! It’s only 44 today!”
  7. You don’t bother to turn the hot water on anymore, as the cold water is perpetually at boiling point.
  8. Forget master chef, you’re mechanical chef. Cookies are baked on bonnets and a well timed drive to the desert will have you arrive, lift the hood, and experience the most perfectly cooked baked potatoes.
  9. You fill your car with petrol in $5 increments as you can’t bare to have the air-conditioning off for longer than a few minutes.
  10. As you walk across the car park you’re not sure what to worry about first: the wet t-shirt competition you appear to be holding with yourself, or the fact that your flip flops are melting and are now stuck to the bottom of your feet.

Have I missed anything? Anything to add to the joys of summer. I’d love to hear your stories.

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