Halfway Hair

As a child dinner time provided a slightly OCD focussed routine. I ate all the bits that didn’t appeal to my taste buds first, and saved my favourites until last. First came the peas, carrots and whatever green offering was provided, meat and potatoes were saved until last. My grandmother had shared her thigh enhancing dob of butter difference, which made potatoes my most favourite thing in the world.

When it comes to work I do the opposite. I pick all the fun things to do first. The meetings, the blog posts, the lunch reviews and the relocation calls. Anything that involves people contact goes straight to the top of the list. In the meantime invoices lay in draft folders, quotes are requested for the second time by clients, 135 emails are flagged in red, and google analytics presentations are half finished.

When it comes to Motherhood prioritizing goes out the window. There’s no list. The constant and never ending stream of requests slot in between logical thought. I am completely reactive. Some days are easy, perhaps even boring, mundane, and completely manageable. Others are just ridiculous. It’s fair to say that today is a shit show.

I am currently failing spectacularly at both parenting and work. I have 66 cupcakes to take to school today. It’s my own fault, instead of asking someone else for help I decided it was just easier to do it myself *insert maniacal laughter here*.

Twenty have already gone into school un-iced. Is there anything sadder than an un-iced cupcake?

As we were leaving this morning I announced to the children that I’d ice the cupcakes when I returned from a meeting and then bring them into school at recess.

The third little traveller eyed me suspiciously and began to put his 22 un-iced cupcakes on a tray “I’m not taking any chances, I’m taking mine now.” For a split second there was a feeing of shame, it was quickly erased with relief. Twenty two less to ice.

The first little traveller flies to Sri Lanka for a school camp tomorrow night, I’m pretty sure we’re okay with the list of needs but there’s a few last minute things: gardening gloves, bug spray, a rain coat and about 4 extra sets of clothing. Every day this week I’ve postponed our shopping trip.

“We’ve got all day on Thursday before you go” I assured her this morning.

“It’s cool Mum, it’s okay.”

She’s had years of training.

I know that in about two days the workload will ease and everything will return to a manageable pace, but in the meantime I am choosing to ignore a few things: my boys desperately need a haircut, the picture frames remain on the dining table not hung, the drycleaning not taken, the dogs hair matted, their toenails unclipped, the shoes not cleaned, the make-up not replaced (this morning I cut the tube open with scissors) and, well, I’m just going to stop with this list now, you’re bored and I’m getting dizzy.

As I stood yesterday in front of the mirror with the children’s blunt craft scissors in my hand, chopping away at my fringe while the children yelled “hurry up Mum!” from the bottom of the stairs, I began to laugh. I’d shaved under one arm, while the other had been forgotten.

I figure I’ll get to it by Friday.

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