I need to find a better answer to the statement. I’m never quite sure what to say or even if I’m meant to say anything at all. Standing at a party, drink in hand, talking about Syria, evacuation plans and whether having an embassy would make any difference. “Kirsty has a blog, what’s it called? Something about the suitcases and the twenty kids?” I make a move to go back to the original conversation, what comes next somehow sounds like an apology “I don’t read your blog”.
There’s a pause, then I realize that’s it. That’s the end of the sentence. What happens next? Where do we go from here. Smiling I attempt to find something to fill what now feels like an awkward space. “It’s not compulsory.” I offer in comfort.
I want a better answer. An answer that somehow explains that the majority of bloggers spend much of their time thinking that absolutely no-one reads their blog. They are not shocked that you don’t. They are far more shocked when you do.
Some of my best friends have never read a post. Not one. People I love and care about, people who are not fans of social media and prefer paper to screen. People who l’ve shared houses with. People I’ve pitched tents together with, consoled in a time of grief and opened champagne in celebration. Friends, good solid friends.
A girlfriend of mine, someone who I once shared a boogie board with so we could have the experience of being dragged through the water at rapid speed behind a speedboat together. Taking turns on who went on top, we laughed hysterically as we lay on each other in our bathers, clinging desperately to a rope as we inhaled half of the River Murray. A girlfriend who flashed her bottom out of a window as we drove down a highway as a dare, we giggled so uncontrollably that snot came out of my nose. The same girlfriend who is the godmother of my firstborn and whom I described at my wedding as my rock – because I know that if I really needed her, she would always be there. She doesn’t read the blog. And that’s okay.
I do not know the lesson plans of my teacher friends. The arrests that were made by police friends. The shares that were traded by share broker friends, or the recipes cooked by caterer friends. I ask them how work is and they answer in the usual ways. Sometimes they ask me about writing and I answer in the usual ways (I’m crap at it but I keep plodding along trying to get better).
I think it’s safe to say that 99% of bloggers do not stand in a crowded room with the thought that everyone around them has read their blog. They just don’t. And if you’re me, you’re more likely to discover that someone has read the blog and therefore must definitely think/know that you’re a tosser.
This morning I finished reading/sobbing through (for the second time) “Worse Things Happen at Sea”. It is perhaps my favourite book. Maybe because it’s about everything I like to write and think about: family, relationships and the moments that just happen, the day to day that looks like nothing but means everything. The walk to school, the ride in the car, the view of your children walking ahead of you along the beach.
Reading about another family’s beauty and sorrow reminds me of why it’s important to me to capture the moments of our life. Some people take amazing photos, others record video, I write stories.
And I’m really glad that you come here to read them. REALLY glad.
And if you don’t? That’s okay. It’s not compulsory.
✕
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Pffft… my partner of 20 years doesn’t even read my blog! 😉
I understand noeveryone is going to read my blog but I hate it when they laugh off that it is a way of pursuing a career for me, and when they think it is a dangerous thing to blog. Read it and then criticise.
This is wonderful. We write blogs – so what? It doesn’t make us any more or less wonderful than anyone else. If anyone writes in the hope it will prove how popular he/she is, then there’s huge disappointment in store.
I value my blog-followers; many are loyal and funny. But far more important is the friend up the road who is there with tea or wine or cake whenever I need it. And she’s never read a word. And that’s fine.
Absolutely!
A common complaint 😉
I agree. I am shocked and pleased when someone does read my blog. First, I write for myself, and second to share my travel & foodie experiences with others. Not everyone will read or agree with what I have to say, and that’s fine with me. 🙂
My husband, bless him, reads everything but plenty of friends and family don’t and I think your line about it not being compulsory is perfect. I haven’t read that book yet either so thanks for the tip.
Most of my friends don’t read my books either. My mother has only read one. It is good you are prepared for this when you are published. xxxx
Ha ha! So true! I almost fall over when some random person in a room or (shock horror) a close friend says they’ve actually read it….(then I let them know there will be a test on each and every post, so they better not be lying!) lol
Hi. I have been reading your blog for over 12 months and you are definitely not in the crap category, not by a long shot!!
When I stated my blog a few years ago my husband claimed every time he tried to look at it crashed his computer1 And he’s never looked at it since. Likewise most of my good friends don’t read it (my Mum does though!). You summed it up perfectly – ‘the majority of bloggers spend much of their time thinking that absolutely no-one reads their blog.’ In a strange way it’s exactly that thought that allows you to write a blog post, especially a personal one. And on those rare occasions that I do meet someone that reads my blog I always think they must think I’m completely loopy!
ps. I don’t have a better answer for you sorry, but I might just steal your ‘it’s not compulsory’ comment 🙂
Thank christ you wrote this…I get so many friends doing the ‘sorry I dont read it’ when I havent even raised it (ie THE BLOG) in conversation but on the other hand sometimes I think ‘crap if one of my close buddies shared her love of words online Id be bloody proud to read those words and tell her how proud I was’. Blogs are the never ending conundrum of the writing world and Sarah and Williams book is utter bliss x
I read your blog, regularly not every single post. Sorry ’bout that. But I love what you write about and how you write it. Sometimes I stupidly worry about who is reading mine which is the kiss of death because the best way to write is to imagine nobody at all is reading it. I need to get back to that. Thanks.
I never expect other people have read my blog, so much so that sometimes I start to tell them something and they say, oh yeah, I read that on your blog – and I think, oh, wow, someone read my blog!
I read your bog. In fact, i like your blog. I too write my blog as a way to tell my stories, I call it my very own story corner and I am always suprised that anyone reads it. But what makes me laugh most is when people apologize for not having read your latest blog, like, they havent done their homework. Maybe you should come to my partyr and I can say, “I read you blog.”
http://www.poppiesforme.blogspot.com
xx
Well I – and many, many others – read your blog. You’re right, it isn’t compulsory. We do so because you aren’t ‘crap’ at writing it. Any but. As with your favorite book, you write about the things in life we care about, and in the humorous or poignant or inquisitive manner in which we think of these same things. Write on!
I love your books and I make people read them. xx
Thank you xx
I love the idea of ‘story corner’. I’d love to come to your party! x
Snap!
I think that’s one of the best pieces of writing advice “imagine no-one is reading it”. I do that all the time.
It is bliss isn’t it. I just read your post while I was in the school carpark (my phone wouldn’t let me comment) and found myself nodding all the way through. x
I giggled out loud at the “it crashes his computer”. Too funny. Glad I’m not the only one.xx
naaaaw, thank you!
I love that! That’s my new response to I don’t read your blog “what a shame because I travel with a small questionnaire that I ask people to fill”. 😉
The book is just divine. I have a feeling you’ll love it Carli. x
Wise words.
Exactly, I get a kick out of the friends I have that have no idea about the blog. It’s kind of like having a bit of secret. Does that make sense?
So funny! When I first started blogging, I assumed ALL my pals would read it. Ha! You quickly learn who likes reading blogs and who doesn’t. But I totally get it. I love my friend David but I’m not interested in watching all his motor-cross videos and I love my friend Chris but I’m not keen on reading all his Iliad translations. So eventually readers of blogs find your blog and all is well! :o)
I think my siblings only read my first book because I sent them a copy! Hardly any of my friends or family read my blog and it doesn’t matter, in fact it’s quite nice not to be worrying about their reactions all the time.
Your answer to the blog confession is perfect! Either that or I’d say something like “Oh blogs aren’t everyone’s cup of tea”.
Especially when it’s the kids’ teachers. Then I have to run home and read back about two years. Gulp!
So true. I don’t watch friends train at the gym or sit on the sidelines at cricket practice. Writing is my guilty pleasure (this sort of writing,writing particular mag pieces can see me in a world of pain). I never have an expectation for a friend to follow or read what I write. xx
I actually prefer NOT to think about my family and friends who read my blog, as I think it would stop me from writing about a few topics. I have to just think that my blog is totally read by strangers or I would never write anything!!
“Tosser”? Do translate for us Americans! And, yes, I never know what to say either, except “Don’t worry, you don’t have to.” Sounds awful.
I always read your blog being a bit of an expat myself, rubbish at commenting though.
I got a bit of a shock yesterday when, after months of writing nothing, I posted twice and 2 mums at pick up said “Oh, I’m a bit late because I was reading your blog”! I had to do that quick ‘Oh heck, what did I say? How much of a muppet do I look today?’.
Sometimes I think it would be nice to have an anonymous blog then I could really let rip…!
Kirsty, I love your Blog and am one of your regular “Hobart” visitors. I’m often nodding along and laughing at your stories. As a Mum of many kids myself I relate to a lot of them! I would actually rather people I know to not read my blog and when they do find out about it I’m at pains to tell them not to read my drivel. My family now know about my blog and a few very close friends and they all like it because we live away from everyone and it keeps them up to date. My hubby is actually my biggest fan – is that weird!?! However, I still cringe when I hear that a friend has stumbled upon my blog and I have actually never made it known to my Facebook friends that I blog at all. I kinda like the relative anonymity. Keep doing what you’re doing! Your last Post made me think I was getting a bit cynical with blogging (which I think I was!) so thank you for that. I’m looking forward to your translation of “Tosser” 🙂 Mel xxx
As a new blogger i totally get this, I assume no one is reading and then when someone mentions something related to an old post I am gobsmacked…….what they are a reader?? Please know you were one of my first blogs to subscribe to, no wait you were the first and I love your writing just as much to this day.
I think it’s really important to write like nobody’s reading. Thanks Karen, your comment has made me smile. xx
I love that your husband is your biggest fan (I think mine might be too). Thank you xx
The oh heck what did I say – Oh yes, THAT! all the time 🙂
Hmmm, now I how to I say this politely. Someone who is very well aquatinted with a particular part of their anatomy? Here’s what the urban dictionary gives as a description: someone who tosses off – another name for a Wanker (one who suffers from chronic masturbation) he he he
Exactly! xx
I follow and read your blog but hardly comment! I love your stories. As an expat too, I can relate to a lot of your experiences. I know some family and friends read my blog to keep up to date, but am not sure who else does!
Amelia http://www.chaiacupoflife.com
It is so funny. You are absolutely right and I loved reading this post (actually I love reading everything you write). It has taken me a year to get use to the fact that the people who I “thought” I was writing the blog for about my expat journey and travels are not the ones reading my blog. Dear friends and family are a little perplexed with my whole blog thing. I have come to realize that I really enjoy doing it and I will continue for anyone who cares to read (even if it is not many). You are right it is not compulsory.
I love your blog as you well know. My blog is not public as I am too thinned skinned to deal with all those trolls. My hubby always says he is too busy to read my blog and yet whenever he travels for work, which is a lot, a log in from where he is will show up and it absolutely makes my day. I don’t have a lot of readers from Cameroon or Ivory Coast so I know its him 😉 Of course when questioned he brushes it off with being bored and had time to kill, but he always says it with a cheeky smile like he has been caught. S x
I know what you mean about the requirement of thick skin. I now have tusks. x
Sometimes I look back on something from only a year ago and realize I’d completely forgotten about it. That fact only makes the whole blogging thing worthwhile. x
I read somewhere that only 5% of readers take the time to comment (which I completely get because I’m completely guilty of reading and moving on to the next thing). Thanks for taking the time, *waves hello to Amelia* xx
If they don’t read you’re blog, it’s because they’ve never clicked on it. One single click and I was hooked. But I love your response. Let’s see if me and Disqus can finally come to terms on me posting here …
Love your blog and looking forward to the book – I used to be a travel agent so i think I now travel vicariously through you and I love your parenting stories and file them away for later 🙂
Sorry Kirsty I think I have commented once in about two years of reading. The reason I apologise is because it feels a bit stalker-ish. I just love your writing so I keep coming back, I dont think I’ve missed a post in a year or two! I’m an expat and I didnt know what that was til I came across your blog, so I relate to a lot expatty posts.
My indulgence after exam time used to be catching up on all the posts I had missed out on while studying for exams 🙂 Much better than tv or a movie.
You know my own father doesn’t read my blog… and um, it DOES piss me off a little! Kudos to you for letting that go! Looks like you have plenty of followers who adore you 🙂 http://www.getrealmama.blogspot.com