Staring Out The Window

I keep finding myself staring out the window. I’m in the middle of a scene change. If my thought process were a movie, we’ve moved from a busy kitchen in a downtown New York restaurant, to the back waters of a lake in Canada. The sounds of waiters shouting orders, clanging pots, and furious knife cutting stopped with the insertion of a needle.

The screen went black.

Birds chirped while a faint sound of water, trickled in the background.

I cannot change a thing that is going on in Doha right now. Little travelers have had days off school, someone attempted to wear make-up, someone went home with a fever and was then found playing outside. I cannot do a thing about it. I’m in the backwaters.

I cannot contribute to anything going on in my house in Australia right now. Each morning my father walks into my bedroom wearing a “Mr Happy” t-shirt and a pair of stripey pajamas. “How are you love?” My mother feeds me vegetables and brings continuous supplies of water and cranberry juice. I hear them living beyond my bedroom door, in between floating in and out of sleep.

Our conversations are snippets. Something about lotto, something about the Melbourne Cup. I’m almost with them and then it’s time to return to the trickling water and the birds in the backwaters. Serious thoughts slowly move into focus, infections, school camps, hospital bills, and then I realize I can’t – not yet.

“I might just have a sleep”.

I cannot rewind or fast forward, because both will have me in a world that I am not capable of inhabiting, nor facing, just yet.

I’m in the backwaters.

I keep finding myself staring out the window.

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  • bigwords is…

    I can’t wait until you are feeling better and I can come over and snuggle in bed with you and we can stare out the window together and gossip and giggle xx

  • MsCaroline

    I don’t know who ‘bigwords is’ is, but I can’t wait until you’re feeling well enough for her to come over, either! Glad you are surrounded by loving hands and hearts, and know that there are readers all over the world sending you prayers and well-wishes for a speedy recovery.

  • Stacy

    What a blessing to have your parents to care for you! There are days when I would like to be home in my old bed (in a house my mother sold years ago) and let her coddle me. Prayers and warm thoughts for your quick recovery and for courage and fortitude for G as he keeps the little travelers healthy and happy in Doha. God speed Christmas hols!

  • manycoloured-days

    That weird limbo between your ‘real’ life and the old one…. being back in your old bedroom. Being nursed by your mother when it’s you who’s supposed to be mothering…. Strange, isn’t it? Are you feeling better at all, physically?

  • Amoola

    Relax and don’t be worrying. Everything will sort itself out when the time is right. We are all praying for your recovery *hugs*

  • Amanda

    Lots and lots of good sleep is an excellent healing mechanism. Swift and speedy recovery wishes.

  • darlenefoster

    Please look after yourself. You are blessed to have family to look after you. Sending tons of love from Canada. XO

  • aussiemama

    The view from the window is very pretty.

  • jan

    Enjoy the backwaters they are healing.