Step 1. Board an aircraft with four children.
You may have believed you were looking reasonably well put together when you walked out the door, but within moments of take off you will notice you have boogers on your shoulder and a butter menthol stuck to your bum. The cardigan that you were hoping was providing you with a comfortable and well thought out “layered” look, will now be tucked into the back of your jeans, this is a direct result from two of your children playing a game of hide and seek between your legs as you made your way down the isle of the airplane. Remember? That’s how you managed to trip and get the coffee stain down the front of your shirt.
Step 2. Hire a people mover.
After you’ve arrived at the rental car area and perused the vehicles available, you will move your eyes past the sporty convertibles and the sleek sedans and notice that there appears to be a commercial van at the back of the block. This is your car. For the next week you will not only be able to drive the kids to the beach, but you will also be able to deliver the mail and provide a shuttle bus to the supermarket.
Tonight there was no five star, no glamour, no egyptian cotton sheets. Tonight, there was giggling, and the childhood excitement that comes with the entire family sleeping close enough to hear each other breathe.
Tonight there was extended family, stories and catch ups. Tonight there was pizza in a box, red wine, bubbles, and discussions about art, life, and love.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how rough the toilet paper is.
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I am laughing at this post but with complete empathy mind you. Naked Bacon took me on mini-vacation once and rather than pay high room fees for a nice room in the mountains, he opted for a budget motel on the outskirts. Poor choice as the room ended up costing the exact same as a normal room would have. We giggled all night as we tried to sleep, fully clothed with our shoes on, rolled up in our car blanket as we prayed the howling outside the window was coming from a wolf and not a deranged traveller.
I’ve stayed in plenty of these. My friend Ann, who travelled to do shows with me, called them the Bates Motel du jour. If you ask her now, we had a good time.
I remember that giggling! I also remember how as kids the Best Western motel seemed very fancy after the caravaning camping.
Now…..not so much fun. You’re right I’m not toilet paper should rustle either ! But then if the company and wine are good…….
And definitely no “business time” xx
Laughter, and you managed to bring a tear to my eye!! We’ve just done a month of family rooms, fancy and not so. My 3 year old told me he likes “real” hotels – when asked to clarify “Ones without stairs” ie he likes fancy ones with lifts in the foyer and buffet breakfasts – we stayed in a lot of hotels with stairs and dodgy bathrooms in China!
I went to Four Seasons last week to visit my friend, and O dear.. My 4.5 yo daughter was screaming “Woww.. It’s a beautiful hotel”.. “_” considering that last vacation we were on a budget hotel for 3 weeks!;))
Oh this did make me laugh! I’m guessing most of us on holiday from the sandpit will be nodding in agreement with you. Having had a massive moan to my friend about the downside of living in the sandpit I now find myself looking forward to the 5 star luxury as my holiday comes to an end. Anyone for brunch?
love the butter menthol stuck to your bum! made me snort with laughter!
I’m afraid every motel room has a sleazy sinister story. I’m petrified that if my kids touch the carpet they’ll end up with an STD. Insane I know, I have no idea how I turned out this way. But what you said couldn’t be more true, sometimes it doesn’t matter how rough the toilet paper is, it’s about the company you keep, and making the most of it 🙂
Superb. And very funny. Know the feeling all too well (and I’ve only got 3 offspring in comparison!).
LCM x