Life Affirming Sumo Knickers

The first little traveler has a piece of paper strategically placed next to her bed. It has a little magnetic ball which keeps it stuck to the stand of her bedside lamp. On the piece of paper she has written these words.

“I am not perfect and never will be. And neither will anyone else! We can only be ourselves.”

When I discovered the note I was really pleased that she’d chosen something positive but also realistic. I love the tone that you don’t need to be anyone else, just continue on being your best self.

I asked her last night why she has it there.

“Just as a reminder – I like it.”

I wondered who had inspired her to write the note.

“Who said it?”

“I said it” she smiled back with a mouth full of braces.

I’m thinking of getting my own piece of paper.

While walking through the supermarket last week, the youngest traveler saw it as the perfect opportunity to grab my bottom. He likes to grab my bottom, or my boobs, whatever is closest at the time. With one bum cheek in each hand he began making the sounds of a tuba, or maybe it was a trombone? I can’t be sure. Whatever it was, it was loud and embarrassing. As I walked I could feel his hands on each cheek, the sound effect matched my stride. I stopped him several times, but each time I continued on through the dairy section, he’d grab my bum cheeks again and begin squealing.

“Boom boom boom – your bottom does BIG BOOMS” he squealed. He thought he was hysterical. I thought he was a good candidate for adoption.

Later that evening I got dressed for a birthday party. I was wearing a see-through kaftan with a tube slip underneath. I was really happy with the outfit, even when one of my daughters screwed up her nose and asked “What have you got on underneath it? Hmmm, I’m not sure if it’s really you Mum?”

I thanked her very much for her input and reminded myself that my fashion advice was coming from an eleven year old. An eleven year old who was currently wearing her brother’s soccer shorts, teamed with a singlet she’s had for roughly four years.

“You look fine Mum” offered the second traveler. “Just change your shoes”.

I left the house feeling “fine” and wondering what was wrong with my other shoes.

Yesterday I emerged from the shower to find the second and third traveler had taken up a position on my bed. As I pulled on my knickers they began giggling.

“Your knickers don’t cover your bum Mummy” giggled the third traveler

“They’re not meant to – it’s called a G string. Have you both brushed your teeth?” I really didn’t feel like I needed an audience.

“They should call them Sumo knickers. You know how Sumo wrestler have knickers that go up their bum?”

They were both now in a moment of pure hysteria. I stopped the party quickly.

“The words sumo and bottom should never be put in the same sentence when you are speaking of your mother. Now go and brush your teeth”.

So, back to my piece of paper. My life affirming note to pin on my bedside lamp.

“I am not perfect and never will be, and neither is anyone else – but my bottom provides hours of endless entertainment to my very perfect children”


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