Has Anyone Seen the Remote?

Years ago, in a different location, a girlfriend of mine shared a story about her weekend. She and her husband had been to a dinner party at a friend’s home. They were all expats and had begun to rely on each other in a way that expats do in the absence of family and old friends. Half way through the evening, after the consumption of alcohol, their new friends asked if they could request a favour.

“It’s a bit awkward” they explained. “We were wondering, if anything happened to us, could you come over and get rid of the box?”

My girlfriend and her husband immediately said yes, and then realized they both had to admit that they had no idea what the couple were talking about.

“The box?”

Their hosts went on to describe the box that was kept hidden away at the back of the top shelf in the bedroom cupboard. It was full of sex toys. They explained that in the event of an accident, they really didn’t want their children, or their grief stricken parents to find the box. They wanted to make sure the box was going to disappear. “Of course, we’re happy to do the same for you!”

My girlfriend told me this story partly as a giggle about her and husbands deer stuck in the headlights reaction, but also because she didn’t have a box and she was starting to wonder if she should have. Were they boring because they were boxless? Was there something missing in their routine? Had they been doing it wrong? How had they coped for all these years without a box?

Today I stumbled across an article that made me realize that maybe the days of the box are gone. Vibrators have not only become mainstream, they are now multifunctional. For example, the people at MojoWijo have made a few design changes to the wii remote.

Sure, it looks like fun, but I still reckon I’d have a hard time (pardon the pun) explaining the extra piece of apparatus to the little travelers. Can you imagine? “Has anyone seen the remote control?” followed by a breathless and hurried reply from Mum “just a minute kids”.

Or there’s the ten different vibrating apps you can apply to your iPhone. Which brings a whole new meaning to “I’m on the phone” no, I really am! And if you believe the people at frisky, the credit crunch has had us feeling (yep, I did it again) and looking at a few household items a little differently. I’m not sure I’ll ever look at the pastry brush, electric toothbrush and the washing machine in the same way again.

For the traveling woman though, this one is definitely pushing all the right buttons (I had to). This USB flash drive not only keeps a low profile through customs, but it keeps 16GB of data, is water proof AND it vibrates.

“Where did you put the Christmas photos Mum?”

“Trust me, they’re tucked away safely”.

I’m afraid I have to leave it there, there’s lots to do and I’ve been very unproductive, I’ve been on the phone all day.

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