Is that what you REALLY say?

Has everyone else seen the meme’s making their way around Facebook/Twitter etc? What my friends think I do, what my husband thinks I do, what my mother thinks I do. What my dog thinks I do, what my brother’s girlfriend’s cousin thinks I do.

I have no idea what anyone thinks I do. If a laptop, soccer practice, red wine and pinning a child to the dentist chair have flashed through your mind. You’re very very close.

The “what my friends think I do” came just after the “shit people say videos.” They were funny weren’t they? Well, the first 250 of them were funny but when we got down to “shit people say about the shit people say” I reckon we’d covered just about everything.

Just about.

I don’t know what you say, but here’s some stuff I’ve said:

“Okay, I’m sitting down. They want us to move where? How do you spell that?”

“I’m so glad to hear you’re a qualified obstetrician” Umm, no, that’s not my c-section scar, that’s where I had my appendix removed as a child”

“Honey, the packers have just finished, everything’s packed, the trucks loaded, but we can’t seem to find the keys to the house or the car? – What do you mean you put them in the brown box by the door?”

“The school just rang, they’ve finally got places for all of the children, sorry, what was that – We’re moving where?”

“I got the job! Yep, it’s perfect. I met the team and they’re great, the salary works, it’s close to the school. I found childcare for the children. I can start on Monday, sorry, what was that  – We’re moving where?

“Do you know where I can find tampons or Caneston cream? So how long have you been driving a taxi?”

“We’re just waiting on a school place, in the meantime I’m homeschooling *insert crazy lady laugh here*”

“Does anyone know where the post/telcom/electricity/insurance office is? Someone told me you drive down the street with the big orange building and turn left at the tree that looks like a palm tree but it’s not, then you just make a right at the house with the green door, drive through three roundabouts and turn left at the big pot hole. Does that sound right?”

“It’s a shame the doctor had to cancel his trip here, no need to panic though. You know the dentist thinks he could probably do the vasectomy for you, what do you think? It’s either him or the vet?”

“I feel like I’ve really connected with Susan. It’s taken a long time but I’ve finally made a really good friend. It’s just nice to feel like you have someone you can talk to. Pardon? They want us to move where?”

“I just spent a fortune on gym membership but if we’re going to be here for another year I’ll really get my moneys worth…..pardon, what was that?”

Famous last words.

How about you? Got any you’d like to add. I’d love to hear them. Share it around and we’ll see how many we can come up with.

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