Knock Knock

In the space of 6 years, I carried and gave birth to 4 children. My eldest is now 11, my youngest is 5.

This means 2 things.

My breasts don’t look quite like they used to and it’s also highly possible that I have heard more ‘Knock Knock’ jokes than anyone else in the world. Well, maybe not as many as the woman who had 5 children in 7 years, but she spends most of her day drunk, rocking in a fetal position in the corner, so I still win.

In the early years of the ‘Knock Knock’ jokes I suffered through many jokes that just didn’t make any sense. Actually, I’m not sure you could technically call them jokes. They were more just statements with fake laughing at the end. Kind of like a political gathering for small people.

“Knock Knock” the First Little Traveller would say “Who’s there?” I’d ask picturing the next little Tina Fey. “Ant” and before I could even make my way to the highly anticipated “Ant who?”  she’d break out in to fits of laughter with “An ant was on the pavement and it was walking along and it, it, it, stopped”.

I’d wait for more.

Nothing. Which would have been kind of cute if I hadn’t already heard it forty three times that day. And no, she wasn’t being ironic.

We eventually made our way to chickens crossing roads, oranges that were glad you didn’t say banana and turkeys that were standing in for chickens.

And then miraculously, one day, the Knock Knocks started to be funny – hmm, I should say, funnier. I can still remember my first genuine laugh at the First Little Traveller and her Interrupting Cow…” Interrupting Cow who you may ask. And I did. Except as soon as I got to the  “Interuptin…” she butted in with a loud “Moooooooooooo”.

We’d made progress. Until the Second Little Traveller started her comedic career. We were back to where we started. We were back in the world of pretend thigh slapping guffaws. Until one day she knocked out a “Lettuce…..Lettuce in” and we knew she had it.

The Third Little Traveller was quick to catch up but the Fourth Little Traveller has taken awhile. What has been interesting, is watching the bigger Travellers suffer through his “that is just not funny” humour. “Knock knock…..bee….there’s a bee in the sky”.


“That’s not a joke” someone will say. Perhaps the Fourth Little Traveller could have been humiliated by the critique, but no, he’s always too busy laughing hysterically at his own brilliance. He finds himself particularly funny.

So today came as a surprise to all of us.

As I drove the car into our carpark, I listened and took part in the latest round of knock knock jokes and just as I switched off the car the Fourth Little Traveller got everyones attention.

“Knock Knock” he screamed. Someone sighed, someone else groaned and I shot them both a death stare from the the Mother ship. “Who’s there” I asked. His face was red, his voice was strained, he sounded as if he was choking “Fish” he squeeked. His face was now crimson and I began to wonder if this was actually a joke or if he’d stopped breathing “are you okay… who?”

“Quick, open the door and get me a fishbowl and some water, I’m here on the floor in your doorway”

I’m not sure who laughed louder, us or him. It was lame, but he was so cute and it was pretty funny.

How does it feel to finally get a laugh?

Like this.

Know any good Knock Knock jokes?

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