Outwit, Outlast, Outplane

Travelling with children, like most activities involving children, comes in progressive stages.
Flying with a toddler or new baby falls in to the “extreme” parenting category. It’s like a game of Survivor, you are constantly trying to outwit, outlast, outplay.
The early years are all about packing the right amount of nappies, food or formula. Strollers are left at special gates and breastfeeding is perfectly timed for take off and decent to protect little ears. Everybody has at least two changes of clothes, including the parents. Seating arrangements are carefully discussed to allow for aisle walking with toddlers and bags are checked and rechecked for the extra dummy, the blanky that ‘has’ to be there at nap time and the favourite non leak sippy cup.
Unfortunately, the reality usually looks a little different. After spending a week packing everything required for a 15 hour flight, you will board the plane and discover your bulging baby bag has been included in your stow away luggage. Everything you need is now underneath the plane.
You’ll ask yourself you how this has happened? Perhaps you’ll think back to that crazed moment when you were trying to fold the stroller with one hand with six passports between your teeth whilst wearing your sleeping baby in its sling/baby bjorn. You’ll cringe as you recall the haunting gasp from woman at the check-in counter that coincided with your baby slipping out like a sausage on to the rollers of the xray machine. Yes, it may have been then that you lost concentration for a moment.
In a desperate search for replacement nappies, you will sprint from gate 3 to 47 to find the airport pharmacy and in a moment of unexplainable insanity you’ll pay $32 for a jar of vaseline and a panty liner, desperately hoping that you can whip something together that will resemble a nappy. 
It may appear that your troubles are over when the airline staff tell you they have supplies onboard. Shortly after you will find yourself in an airplane toilet, with a roll of sticky tape and an adult sized nappy. The sticky tape will be helpful with both keeping the nappy on and ensuring your baby no longer slips on to the floor.  Later, in a breast feeding mishap, you look down and realize you have two lines of tape running from each nipple. The crinkling sound your baby makes as it rolls over is cute, for the first hour, the next fourteen are a little tiring.
As we drove to the airport last week, it occurred to me that this was our first flight in eleven years without a stroller. We have passed the extreme parenting stage of flying. Our first child was eleven days old when we made our first flight as parents. She is now on her third passport and can recite the safety video of roughly 10 different airlines. We’ve spent a lot of time in parenting rooms in airports and have eaten way to many meals in compartmentalized trays with al-foil tops.
As we made our way through Customs and Immigration in Doha, I walked behind my Four Little Travelers, they had packed their own carry on bags, two tracksuits, two sets of pajamas, two pairs of knickers/jocks, one toothbrush, one hairbrush, their favourite book, pencils and a notepad. They each had the stuffy/teddy that has been there for every flight, with it’s head sticking from the top of their bags. 
Our days of walking the isles with a toddler, comforting a screaming baby and begging a flight attendant for a jar of baby food are over. 
We’ve made it. 
Although, we were short a pair of jocks and hairbrush when we arrived….

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Comments

  1. Becinhouston says

    We too have walked through many airports with panda and puppy dogs heads protruding from the top of rucksacks. ( the stuffed kind of course). Flying husbandless to London from Perth at Xmas, approx 26 hrs of travel time. Not looking forward to it at all. Top tips anyone?

  2. Philippa Hoy says

    Oh Kirsty, that’s very funny.  I’ve just had to take a valium to calm my nerves at the memory of it all.  Px

  3. Valentinavaselli says

     ahahah im still at stage one with my Bex 8 months old!
    I wish you a great time and if u have any spare time I ask you to have a look on my last post, I tried to write in english keeping the same lightness  that it has in Italian, but m not sure other people would d it the same nice http://valentinavaselli.blogspot.com/2011/06/la-pasteque-3-anni-ad-ambilly.html
    thank u!

  4. I laughed out loud reading this, as this is my current existence. Thanks!

  5. Oh, I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I can’t help it…can almost taste the desperation! I remember those days and the amount of planning that went into the pre-travel arrangements, always thinking, ‘This time, I will be prepared for every contigency’…never happened for me…sadly.   We just made the 17-hour flight to Seoul with only one teenager (the other will follow in a week) and he pronounced the entire experience  ‘great.’  This was because he spent the entire time watching videos or playing video games and having food brought to him at regular 2-3 hour intervals…teen boy Nirvana!  I probably should have checked his carry-on luggage, though.  He packed so many books and electronic devices, he could hardly get his backpack under the seat….

  6. I was just sitting here with hubby trying to work out where to go for our next holiday. We were thinking the UK ( from Sydney), but after reading this, taking a drive down to Canberra sounds more appealing!!!!

  7. You are an inspiration.
    I’m facing my first 25hr flight with a toddler in tow and am finding it a little daunting.
    Thank you
    🙂

  8. That’s hilarious, and congratulations! We’ve did the Oz to Europe stint with a four-month-old last year, but I think we cheated because he angelically slept the whole time. More concerned about our next trip when he’s a bit older. Looking forward to your stage!

  9. Wow! 11 years of traveling with a stroller is a record. Did you ever have to do multiple nappy changes on a plane? How did manage four sleepy children? I think this is worth it’s own post or maybe a series.
    Since I have only one (child) I find traveling fairly easy. I’m too scared to have the second one and keep putting it off.
    V and I have been traveling on our own since she was less than 2 months and have done over 35 flights in 3years including a seaplane ride :-). She’s flying out with my parents for a mini-break this weekend.

  10. Just did the India to US trip with a four and eight yr old without hubby. It was so much easier than this time last year. They also packed their own carry ons (should have checked though….we had enough Barbie dolls for the entire plane).  I did miss my stroller a little when landed at 425 am and little one was beat. 

  11. Howled about the ‘sausage’ baby slipping onto the Xray machine rollers…howled. Their growing up is a bit bittersweet, isn’t it?

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