Just you wait until you have children

I’m guessing I was about 8 when I recorded one of my worst “just you wait until you have children” Karma violations. I was sitting on my mothers bed, watching her change from her office clothes in to her now I’m going to clean the house, hang out the washing and cook you all dinner clothes.

In a chirpy, clueless voice I enquired with genuine interest “Who do you think is fatter, you or Aunty Margaret?”

As the air was sucked out of the room, I started to sense I’d said something wrong, very VERY wrong.  In the world of just you wait until you have children Karma legislation, I’d just recorded one of my heaviest crimes, for every action there was a reaction. 
It can be hard to walk with dignity and grace through a shopping mall when your 4 year old has a hand planted on each of your bum cheeks and is refusing to let go. It can be even harder when he is making the sound of a big bass drum while each bum cheek moves up and down in his hands “BOOM, BOOSH, BOOM, BOOSH…..Mummy your big bottom is wobbling” he announces to our fellow shoppers. Just you wait until you have children.
I’ve been asked why my eyeballs have red squiggles,  my arms are jiggling, what the bump on my nose is and my personal favourite if I’m having a baby. No, no I’m not, but by the way, just you wait until you have children.

My music choices are now questioned, little travelers giggle when I dance, my dress sense is discussed in a group forum and I am often woken up just to be reminded I have bad breath and mascara “panda eyes”. Thanks for that guys,  just you wait until you have children.

As I was brushing the hair of little traveler number 2 yesterday she looked back at me through the reflection of the mirror in front of us and said “lots of people tell me I look like you”, I braced myself for the next horrifying personal observation when she continued “I like it when they say that, it makes me feel warm and happy”.

Okay, so thankfully, sometimes Karma works both ways.

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